I sat down one morning this week at a loss; my head was racing with thoughts that I could not harness and I realized that I was angry. I began to look through some of the lessons and bible talk discussions people had sent me and, ironically enough, the two I chose to read were both from the book of Daniel. I took it as God's way of telling me I should read that book.

I remember being a young Christian and reading the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and being truly amazed by their faith. However, I have forgotten a very important passage since that first time I read it. Their story challenges me to bring my trust in God to a whole new level.

Dan3:16-18(NIV) Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, I king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (emphasis added by me)

There is no need for me to defend myself. I know what I believe and I have stated it freely. But there have been so many times when I have defended my beliefs and tried to convince others, but recently I have been trying to defend them to myself. I have had trouble trusting God and those around me. I look back on things I have written months ago, the tests of my trust in the past, and I wonder if they were just smaller tests that have set me up for this one.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego believed God would save them from the furnace and they were ready to trust and act on this faith. Reading these words broke something in me …. "But even if he does not..." These words cut so deep they burn. It's so much easier to think, 'God will deliver, he will fix it (whatever it is) and He'll show those who you want to see Him just how great He is.' But what if He doesn't? Will I still believe in those moments? I am in those moments now and I can't see God working; I can't emotionally feel his presence and yet I cling to him all the more tightly, but for how long? <!-- D(["mb","u003ci>If he does notu003c/i>...I have been angry and frustrated because I am afraid, what if he doesn't.  When people we love die, leave, are sent away, change their minds about loving God or us, I think we can ask what if he doesn't? Old wounds and doubts can open up and can give into fear.  In our daily thoughts and actions we are faced with a choice: do I go on and step into the furnace and keep walking or do I look back, question? Do I give into the fear or do I wrestle it to the ground and give it over to God today? Some days it's easier to push the fight to the back of my mind and pretend it's not their but it rages all the more and it is only when I come before God and his word that I am able to face the battle. Consistency is underestimated. Satin will also try to shift our focus from the victories and make us focus on the loses but the victories outweigh the loses every time. It's almost like someone taking a hold of my face and trying to force it to look in a different direction but ultimately it's my face and my head and I chose to turn to where I will look.   u003c/p> u003cp>Some days it really is just holding on to and believing that God is my father and Jesus his son and he died and was resurrected and he is living and breathing in me. So I walk in the furnace of my mind or know with the summer slowly creeping in here the furnace is not far off. And even if he does not rescue me out of this furnace I will believe.  u003c/p> u003cp>u003ci>Isaiah believe.  u003c/p> u003cp>u003ci>Isaiah 45:2-3(NIV) I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. u003c/i>u003c/p> u003cp>u003ci>v12-13It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it.  My own hands stretched out the heavens; I marshaled their starry hosts. I will raise up Cyrus in my righteousness: I will make all his ways straight. He will rebuild my city and set my exiles free" ",1] ); //-->If he does not...I have been angry and frustrated because I am afraid... what if he doesn't?

When people we love die, leave, are sent away, change their minds about loving God or us, I think we can ask what if he doesn't? Old wounds and doubts can open up and can give into fear. In our daily thoughts and actions we are faced with a choice: do I go on and step into the furnace and keep walking? Or do I look back, question? Do I give into the fear or do I wrestle it to the ground and give it over to God today? Some days it's easier to push the fight to the back of my mind and pretend it's not there, but it rages all the more. It is only when I come before God and his word that I am able to face the battle. Consistency is underestimated. Satan will also try to shift our focus from the victories and make us focus on the losses, but the victories outweigh the losses every time. It's almost like someone taking a hold of my face and trying to force it to look in a different direction but ultimately it's my face and my head and I choose where I will look.

Some days it really is just holding on to and believing that God is my father, Jesus is his son and that he died, was resurrected and is living and breathing in me. So I walk in the furnace of my mind (though now with the summer slowly creeping in here the furnace is not far off). And even if he does not rescue me out of this furnace, I will believe.

Isaiah 45:2-3(NIV) I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

v12-13It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands stretched out the heavens; I marshaled their starry hosts. I will raise up Cyrus in my righteousness: I will make all his ways straight. He will rebuild my city and set my exiles free" <!-- D(["mb","u003c/i>  (Also see v17-25)u003c/p> u003cp>u003ci>v22- 23 (The Message) "I am God, the only God there is, the one and only. I promise in my own name: Every word out of my mouth does what it says. I never take back what I say. Everyone is going to end up kneeling before me." u003c/i>u003c/p> u003cp>Sometimes God repeats things over and over again but it is still hard to hear over my own voices of doubt. Sometimes, I just need to be told again, and reasured just how much he truly loves me even when I'm a mess and make the same mistakes and maybe then Ican walk into the furnace even if. He is not like man, he will not get tiered and grow weary. When I trust in his love I am able to turst those in my life and love again. u003c/p>u003cbr clearu003d"all">u003cbr>-- u003cbr>Kasia Kedzia u003c/div> ",0] ); D(["ce"]); //--> (Also see v17-25)

v22- 23 (The Message) "I am God, the only God there is, the one and only. I promise in my own name: Every word out of my mouth does what it says. I never take back what I say. Everyone is going to end up kneeling before me."

Sometimes God repeats things over and over again, but it is still hard to hear over my own voices of doubt. Sometimes, I just need to be told again, and reassured just how much he truly loves me, even when I'm a mess and make the same mistakes. Maybe then I can walk into the furnace even if. He is not like man; he will not get tired and grow weary. When I trust in his love I am able to trust those in my life and love again.