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'Quiet Time' from Kasia Kedzia
Originally posted on 10/09/2007

Ego Boost: You Know You Want One.

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Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurities…what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It’s the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God’s word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

I would like to think that I am a strong independent woman who isn’t effected by the attention, or lack their of, from the opposite sex but this thought is not the reality. When I am not getting my security from God I often chose to get it from men. This does not mean that I seek out attention from sketchy men necessarily, sometimes this can be the attention of Godly men. The attention does not always have to be negative or even impure or ill willed. In the right mind set I can often take the compliment or the attention for what it is- encouragement. It is when I place the value of this attention over God that I get myself in trouble. I can let comments and attention legitimize or de-legitimize me. I can compare the men in my life to one another unnecessarily and become critical of them. I do feel better about myself when the calls roll in, or a complement is made. When faced with frustration or a hard situation all of a sudden
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a compliment can restore my security in me, it can dilute my fear and sometimes even restore my peace temporarily (and only temporarily). I can forget who it is that desires my heart more than anything and who it is that loves me unconditionally and is watching out for my every need. I quickly sell out for a small compliment that strokes my ego. In moments of insecurity or uncertainty I can turn to the affirmation of others as a source of joy and faith instead of turning to the ultimate source: God. Because lets face it, no matter how amazing a man or woman is he/she will always come up short. We are imperfect, but God is Perfect.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Job 37:5 (NIV) God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.

Job 23:10 (NIV) But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

Sometimes others around me can re-enforce this bad habit unknowingly and only add fuel to the fire. Please note that for those of us who are single and trying to remain righteous and hold to the right perspective of being content and waiting on God and trusting in Him the following comments don’t meet our needs or build us up. It does not help to hear; “oh so do you like anyone?”, “ so are their any potentials out there?”, or my favorite, “wow, your just so amazing I don’t understand why your still single.” If you have made these comments or asked these questions (no matter what your life status) you may want to ask yourself why you would say them and consider the following scriptures;

1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NIV) Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

The people who have helped me most with this have been those who have always pointed me back to God and encouraged me with passages that show me how God sees me and feels about me and re directed me to my purpose. I am learning and seeing that it is great to have healthy friendships with the opposite sex but it is unhealthy to get security from them. When I get security from God I am not as disappointed when others don’t meet my expectations (aka: don’t stroke my ego as desired).

When my security comes from God I am not as focused on myself and am able to encourage those around me. I remember that I am, for the time being, already married, to Jesus Christ (as corny as it may sound, well lets face it, it’s in the scriptures for a reason and its true.) My devotion needs to be to Him first or otherwise I’m an adulterous. Besides, ask anyone who is married to tell you the truth about marriage and if they are real they will quickly tell you that the things you struggle with in your character and personality will not magically be fixed just because you are in a relationship, in fact they may rear their ugly head all the more. That ‘perfect’ person can not fix you because they are not perfect and only God can truly meet our needs on the deepest levels. I can only be a good friend, girlfriend and/or wife if I am letting God fill me first, always. So this is what I am seeking out whole heartedly in my walk with God, in my friendships and in my career.

Mrk 12:30 (NIV) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Psalm 37:4 (NIV) Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

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'Quiet Time' Copyright 2010 © Kasia Kedzia. 'Quiet Time' articles may be reproduced in whole under the following provisions: 1) A proper credit must be given to the author at the end of each story, along with their complete bio and a link to http://www.liveasif.org/ 2) 'Quiet Time' content may not be arranged or "mirrored" as a competitive online service.