Ok. Here we go with another divergence from the norm. Not the usual format but I pray you are blessed nonetheless.
Looking back over my life, one of the surest ways that I knew God was working in me and through me was the ability I had to share my ugly past with others. I think this is a good sign to a believer that has claimed victory over a past struggle or bondage to be able to share the “what got me over” with someone else. For most of my teenage years and through my twenties I struggled with sexual lust. And for many of you reading this, you’ll say, “well of course, hasn’t everybody? However, before you jump to conclusions let’s talk about my “why.” Why would someone who’d been carried to church since before he could remember be caught up in this type of sin? Why would the son of a missionary/evangelist/preacher and ordained minister/elder hold this sin under the nose of his God-fearing parents without seeking help? Why was I compelled to risk all that I held dear for the fix of a pornography binge every now and then? All very good questions that I struggled to find answers to for over 14 years. Sadly though, more than half of that time was spent wastefully--not even searching for the answers. And at that point I’d tried everything. Prayer, reading the bible, reading books, talking to others that dealt with the same struggle and even had overcame it, counseling, etc. You name it I tried it. But none of any of those solutions (in and of themselves) were sufficient. But despite the pain of those 14 years and the pain that I endured as a result of the cumulative effect of that sin, I found the answer. A simpler and less complicated answer than I thought--seeking the heart of God. It sounds cliché, but it is a powerful truth that so many believers currently suffering from “lifelong” sins/bondages/strongholds never realize. When I realized for myself that I was powerless to fight any sin in my life (especially sexual lust) and that I’d much rather seek God’s face for sustaining power in my life; the desires that I'd woke up with on a daily basis for 14 years began to fade away. Now I know you are thinking, I’ve heard of the miracle healings from this and I just don’t believe it. Well, I won’t go as far as saying that I don’t believe that God cannot deliver instantaneous freedom in this situation. But I will say that in most cases it is a process. One of my favorite gospel artists who openly shares his past with others, says that he “attends his own funeral everyday”. Why? Because it takes dying of one’s self on a daily basis to discipline the body into subjection—a process. It is a process because knuckleheads like myself, need a slow-grinding development to etch out a solid character that will be reflective in other areas of life. So the fact that it took 14+ years for me to have a standpoint of conquering victor is beyond me, but I’m happy that I’m here now. (So finally I get to the title of this writing.) Many times we look for the quick fix to our problems. We want to pull up a browser and Google “how to rid myself of (fill in the blank) in 30 days or less”. But the truth be told that in the end, we won’t appreciate that type of victory. That is why Paul wrote in Philippians 3:10, “that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” Too often as believers we look to apply the world’s system of fast convenient problem-solving to our spiritual lives. But getting to know God is a process that builds patience and longsuffering. Seeking his will in your life and laying down your personal agenda destroys pride but creates a spirit of humility. Experiencing suffering and pain from sin consequences can help us appreciate that bitter cup of our sins Christ had to take on before he hung on the cross. Allowing your physical desires to die for the sake of following after the heart of God gives you a miniscule dose of the pain Jesus must have felt preaching to a people that would reject him and call for his death. “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” So what will you do now? Will you continue to suffer needlessly when God awaits your total surrender to help you stand victorious? Or will you continue to suffer needlessly as you stumble through sin’s complex maze hoping that around the next corner is the way out? I pray that you will give up your way and give in to God.
New Life has a wonderful ministry for men suffering with sexual addictions. Click here, to find a support group in your area.