We touched on this topic a bit last week, but it can be so crucial to success that a little more time spent in consideration of this principle would be well-spent. Deciding who is acceptable as a counselor and who's counsel is best disregarded can be complicated and achieved primarily through experience. Jesus declared that wisdom is proved right by our actions. (Matthew 11:19); reinforcing Proverbs' injunction to, "Listen to advice and accept instruction and in the end you will be wise.." Proverbs 19:20 "Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,…' Proverbs 15:20 Yet even here, a specific source of instruction and advice is recommended. "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalms 32:8 "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayers,…" 1 Peter 3:12; Psalms 34:15
Considering what counsel is may help us know who's opinions, ideas, and direction to accept. Counsel is defined by Webster's as: A mutual exchange of ideas and opinions, a discussion of such and advice concerning a desired course of action. A counselor then is one who urges the acceptance of such a plan of action derived from varied input, refined into a purposeful course of action.
Doing so means we have to really listen, to make a conscious effort to hear, (Can we hear but not listen? Absolutely!) to pay attention so as to hear - take heed - in preparation of doing. What do I mean with the caution to be discerning? Discernment is the ability to perceive or recognize differences, showing good judgment and/or understanding, having a keen perception - able to recognize right and wrong or degrees of right and wrong; how they fit, their outcome and impact on your life and those around you. Judgment- not a popular concept these days but an essential ability. Jesus is quoted as saying, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Matthew 7:1 But this is referring to a critical judging of people - with very little purpose other than to point out their sin or shortcoming while ignoring our own. No one wants to be considered judgmental; but this doesn't promote a "live and let live" lifestyle either. The truth is we have to be discerning, we must make judgments between right and wrong; recognizing the difference between good and evil, better and best. This will enable us to have a basis from which to decide who and what we can or cannot be associated with and appear to condone or participate in. The idea of judgment does carry with it judging and criticism, but just as much has the connotation of deciding between one or another, developing an opinion or estimate of value and worth. More to the scriptural point, the power of comparing and deciding; gaining understanding of sinfulness and forgiveness, following either The Way or a way.
Part of growing up is accepting responsibility for what we do and how we do it. We must be willing as well to work to develop a sensible life's plan whereby we function and accomplish the things we do in an effective and productive manner. We will at times make good and bad decisions. Sometimes deciding between good, better and best is difficult. The gray area between good and bad, right and wrong can sometimes be confusing. Is it sin, a mistake, or merely another option? It is largely up to you now who you go to for that advice.
The Bible is full of practical advice on how we should respond in any number of situations. We have to be willing to search it's pages, see it's worth and apply it to our own particular circumstances. 1 Kings 12; 2 Chronicles 10 give a vivid example of the pitfalls of choosing poorly. Paul addresses this issue as well in 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Bad company corrupts good character." This incident points out the folly of going exclusively to people, young people our own age for advice and refusing to even listen to our elders. A few at a young age may have good ideas as well as maturity and wisdom beyond their years - but that's unusual. If nothing else, they don't have any more experience in the situation being dealt with than the one needing advice. Do elders always give the right answers - NO - not always. But at the very least, regardless of whether they are always right, they've been there. They've experienced more, and hopefully have a little more insight into life even if they lived it poorly. In listening to both younger and older advisers we many times are excited and motivated by the new ideas and youthful energy on the one hand and steadied as well as strengthened by the sober advice and even caution on the other. Titus 2:1-8 and 1 Timothy 5:1-2 deal with relationships between older and younger men and older and younger women; the one directed to give respect, the other to give advice. Not from a condescending frame of mind but out of a loving concern for those who have their whole life to live, those who will make their own mistakes and suffer the consequences but who needn't suffer needlessly if they will but have the sense to listen to people who know and seek guidance in the right place.
The Apostle Paul assures us through his letter to the Corinthian church that, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 I really believe this can apply to our experiences throughout life, not only temptation; what we do, which we choose - the good, better, best decisions we must make from time to time. Maybe it could be saying, 'No experience will come your way except what is common to man. God was there for others, he will be there for you. He won't let you down or allow you to suffer needlessly. When experiencing a problem or difficulty, he will provide a way through it - sometimes by giving you strength to tough it out, other times by giving you a friend, a mentor, someone who has had similar experiences who can lead, advise and guide you through it.'
This is not an attempt to discount your experience by saying, 'Been there, done that; heard it, seen it!' This is a desire to encourage you with the knowledge that, yes, times get tough, for everybody. Not everybody experiences exactly what you may, but somebody has. We aren't all tempted by the same things or struggle with the same decisions; but we all suffer, we all experience confusing times, we all make difficult decisions. We really do live similar lives in many ways and there is solace sometimes in just knowing that is true. Much encouragement can be had from realizing that someone else has been where you are and is willing to say, 'I've been there, it's difficult, but you can make it - I did. Here's how I did it, maybe it will help you.'
Listen, learn, discern. It really is of great importance. For from the decisions made today will come the ability and capacity for success in the future; academically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. "How can a young (person) keep (their) way pure? By living according to (God's) word." Psalms 119:9; and seeking Godly counsel and advice. In turn, this will go a long way in aiding your endeavor to not, "…Let anyone look down on you because you are young,…" as you "…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
Fred Price - married (50 years), father of two grown children, grandfather of six.
Fred retired earlier this year after 42 years as a factory worker. He has always had a heart for young people and the challenges they face today. Over the years Fred has taught Discipleship Groups for High School and college students.