Mastering one’s emotions rather than being controlled by them is by definition self-control. I have not always practiced self-control, in fact in the past I have either completely let my emotions control me or stuffed them and pretended they were not there until they blew up in my face. Neither of these actions were very effective or helpful. Recently, I have accepted and acknowledged my emotions: good and bad. I have been able to acknowledge what I feel but not give into it. I have been able to do this because of a deeper understanding of the ‘why’.
2 Peter 1:5-6 For this very reason (because we have been given everything we need for life v3-4), make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance;
The reason I was able to add self-control to my knowledge is because I remembered to focus on the promises of God and that He has given me everything I need for life.
7 and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness love.
A person who exercises self-control will not easily give in to discouragement or temptation to quit - they will persevere. I have been tempted to give in to my emotions or stuff them again, but I was able to persevere and remember that God is with me. Heartache will come, it will even come back to haunt me some times, but that’s ok. I can get through it. Godliness is the continual awareness of God’s presence, knowing that my entire life is in His hands. God is love and we are to love because we are from God.
2Peter1:8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
It’s hard to add all these things to each other on my own. I know that I have only been able to do so because of a deeper understanding and acceptance of God. I had to let God have a greater presence in my life, my heart and my mind. I had to submit to God in order to truly rely on him. It is when I surrendered that he made me productive and effective. So when I want to run away to another country because it seems more comfortable and it just ‘feels’ right, I resist, and then the phone rings at 8pm with a local job offer! When I am tempted to get nostalgic about a past unhealthy relationship I can focus on the promise of a great healthy relationship. I can accept that some people should be around my entire life and others should just make an appearance.
2 Peter 1:9 But if anyone does not have them, he is near sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
This last verse sums up the lack of fruitfulness in a believer’s life being caused by two factors: blindness and forgetfulness. A short sighted person is one who looks only at earthly and material values (what is close at hand) and does not see the eternal spiritual realities. In the past I have easily forgotten, but recently I remembered and refuse to forget or be blinded so easily again. I chose God's reality over my near sightedness.
Rom15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.