Gentleness has never been a characteristic that people who know me would use to describe me. I’m the “honest” friend, the “tell it as it is” friend. But I’m also the friend who can really scorch with her words. This can be disheartening. I want to build my friends up and encourage them when they are down or even when they are in the wrong, but my passion can stifle gentleness and compassion. The “com” gets choked out by the “passion”. It results from a lack of trust in God, but also can prevent me from re-enforcing the positive attributes I see in those I love.
I hold my friends and their walk with God in high regard, as a result I can feel responsible to help them get it right instead of trusting that God IS in control and He will take care of them no matter what I say or how I say it. Recently, this also prevented me from seeing that I was discouraged. My discouragement was a result of not trusting in God through my friends’ trials and tribulations. I was discouraged, but could not see it. As a result my passion was being fueled by discouragement and not God, resulting in panicked or harsh words instead of gentle ones.
Prov25:15 (NIV) A gentle tongue can break a bone.
Prov15:1 (NIV) A gentle answer turns away wrath.
My lack of gentleness can prevent me from communicating my gratitude for my friends. My lack of gratitude for some really amazing friendships prompted me to write an email and thank them for who they are in my life. Although this email served as a stepping stone towards repentance for me it was not some great breakthrough when I used “gentle words” instead of my usual “raw truth.” In fact, the very next day I was apologizing for my harsh words to yet another person. This time it was not enough that they “knew my heart”. I couldn’t erase it. Those words altered how that person sees me. I can not take my words away and I remembered all the harsh words that I had heard from a parent at one time that still stay with me. For the first time in a long time I really saw the power of gentleness. Gentle words have the power to communicate my concern to the people in my life, as well as prevent regrets from words I can never take back. I can be a better friend and more effective for God if I season my truth with gentleness and my passion with compassion.
Matt12: 36-37 (The Message) Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.