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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Perfectly Unpredictable
Date Posted: January 22, 2013

Perfection is an unattainable goal. I have these moments when I set up my own standards to live up to. Yet, when the measuring scale is my own or how others may perceive me, I end up stuck in a Chinese finger trap - the harder I try the tighter the pressure.

Psalm 18:30 “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.”

My ways are not perfect and they don’t have to be because God’s ways are. Sometimes He stops me dead in my path and redirects me. Other times, He just wants me to slow down and enjoy the journey or rest.

I am faced with a new professional opportunity. The opportunity is exciting and scary at the same time. It is sure to mean one thing: change. When I am trying to walk my path on my own strength I either want to sprint, or walk it guarded, causing me to second guess my decisions. When I walk it with God I can drop my guard knowing that He is guarding my heart. It frees me to not waiver in my decisions and enjoy whatever portion of the journey I am currently on.

Ps145:18 “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”

Calling on God and sincerely seeking his guidance regarding this opportunity helped me to see what the truth was. Praying helps me get to the root of my motives or fears, to see what is true. At the core, I don’t know what will happen, I cannot see ahead and that scares me. It scares me because I don’t know if this is where I want to be long term or if by taking this opportunity I will miss out on something better. In my pursuit of perfection I can lose sight of what’s right in front of me.

Numbers 9:19-20 “When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the Lord’s order and did not set out. Sometimes the cloud was over the tabernacle only a few days; at the Lord’s command they would encamp, and then at his command they would set out.”

There was nothing predictable in the movement or settling of the cloud of God for the Israelites; all was dependent on God’s sovereignty. They learned to be utterly dependent on Him and look for His nod. I have had moments in my life where He has called me to encamp and wait, and moments where he’s called me to move.

Is55:8 “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”

So often I want to know what’s coming next or what I want to come next, when all I really need to focus on is right now. What door is God opening before me right now? How can I use it to His glory? I don’t want this job opportunity to swallow me up and keep me from my greater mission and purpose. There are convictions that I will need to stick to and not compromise in my negotiations. The truth is, this opportunity may or may not work out, but I will never know if I don’t try. I don’t need to wonder about three to six months from now, I just need to focus on the now and trust the way God is leading me. When my eyes are on him it’s hard to make the wrong decision.


Ps145:19-20 “He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him”

In all aspects of my life, personal or professional, I am called to step out on faith, to give my heart, and trust that God will reveal the next step in his perfect time. Martin Luther King Jr. put it best when he said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/