Sometimes my dreams seem really far away. I know, that sounds like a cheesy line from a pop song, but it is also how I can feel. Waiting may be an important part of the process, but it is always the most torturous part for me. Sometimes the combination of waiting and feeling like I am wandering aimlessly can make me question my dreams. I start to think that maybe the things that I want for my future are wrong and not meant for me. I start to doubt.
Exodus 6:7 (NLT) I will make you my own special people, and I will be your God. And you will know that I am the LORD your God who has rescued you from your slavery in Egypt.
When I read about God choosing me, only for the statement to be followed by a verse that refers to God rescuing His people after leaving them in the desert for 40 years it can be a bit discouraging. I wonder if it’s really necessary: the trials, the waiting, the wandering and wondering? However, I recently got a glimpse of how necessary and beneficial these things are.
I recently went to a job interview and found myself referencing lessons learned from my present job and thought, “Wow, if I get this job, then the experiences that I have had this year may actually help me not only get a new position, but be better at it.” However, If I look back at my state of mind a few months ago, I know that I was not in a place t see this.
There have been many moments when I have wanted to run; when I have run. However, I realized that God wants to compel me to fight. When I tackle the hard things, my giants so to speak, it moves me closer to my dreams rather than further away. I can chose my own way and succeed, but my success will be smaller, selfish, it may even make me successful, but not fulfilled.
2 Chronicles 16:9 (NIV) For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing and from now on you will be at war.
When I depend on God for strength I am no longer at war with myself and I am able to do the right thing even in situations when it is hard or may seem unfair and uncomfortable. I am able to face whatever giants I need to and I can wait, even if it is painful because His dreams for me are so much greater. I can't see the full picture but with each small decision to chose Him and to chose to fight I get a little closer to my dream as it becomes more in line with His dream for me.