One day as I was praying the Lord showed me that I had withdrawn from the body of Christ to a great degree. Even though I was still functioning and taking care of my Christian duties, [studying, praying, teaching, ministering], I had built a shell of protection around my heart to keep people from entering in and getting too close. He begin to deal with me about hurts that I had received from different ones in the body of Christ, (you know sometimes we don't need the enemy - we do a good job of seriously wounding our own). The sad thing was I didn't know what to do about it. All I knew was it hurt. The memories of different ones still had the power to jab my heart and the only way I knew to stop the hurt was pretend that it didn't exist and go on.
This is a serious mistake for most believers. All we are doing is putting a band-aid on a festering wound. This is the number one way to allow a root of bitterness to take hold. If you have ever dealt with bitterness you know how hard it can make you and how difficult it is to pluck that root up. IT HURTS! As I was praying the Lord started bringing different ones before my face. I knew in my heart that I had forgiven them, but I still didn't know how to handle the after effects of the storm that had ripped through my life at their hands.
Then the Lord started speaking to me.He said, "Lisa, I am going to show you how to get your heart healed every single time some one hurts you, and all I ask is that you to be willing to allow me to heal you. Then, I am asking you to get back out on the front lines and chance getting hurt again!"
I could not believe what I had heard! So I asked Him to explain. He answered, "I need people who are willing to get out on the front lines and be vulnerable. Take the chance of getting hurt and even seriously wounded. I promise you that I will be faithful to heal you each time you get hurt. I will heal you to the point that when you take that memory out and examine it - it will have no power to hurt you. I do this for all my children, but the only problem is they are not willing to get back out in the battle, and take a chance on getting hurt again. So what I end up with is a bunch of healed soldiers staying in R and R and not very many in the battle."
As I sat and thought about what He had told me I realized that this is what Christianity is all about-laying down our lives for our brothers and sisters. This is agape-love. I loved the fact that He gave me the choice whether to go back out to battle or not. And I loved the fact that He is such an awesome Father that He was going to heal me regardless of my decision. How could I not do as He ask? As I reflect back now, I realize what an overwhelming privilege it was for Him to trust me enough to put me back in the battle. That has been 15 years or so ago and I have been wounded many, many times and EVERY single time My Daddy has exposed the hurt to me, healed it and allowed me back on the front lines! What a wonderful way to serve the Saviour who gave it all for me. Are you willing to be healed and put out on the battle field for your Lord?