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Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life

    by Tom Kelley

March 30, 2017

James Garner, as Bret Maverick on the long running TV western, used to make the comment, "My old pappy used to say..." Evidently his old pappy was full of pithy sayings and folksy wisdom that stuck with his son as he went through life. Well, I was blessed with a very wise old pappy of my own, and a lot of what he said has stuck with me over the years.

One of the things he told me has been a constant thought with me since my days as a teenager. "Whatever you do, if it's worth doing, do it the best you can." Every song I sing, every person I visit, every relationship I enter…  ( Click for more )

March 23, 2017

There are risk takers and there are risk takers. Yesterday I met a risk taker. Or, I should say, I came close to meeting a risk taker. She was driving a black pickup truck. She thought she could pass safely with a blind hill ahead. She was right. She could pass safely, but only because I stood on my brakes when I came over the blind hill right at her. Her risk was not just hers but mine as well. Such risk takers are the ones we might deem undesirable.

I met another risk taker last week. She was "shopping" at WalMart. She removed some items from the shelf in one section,…  ( Click for more )

March 16, 2017

While we were working in Upstate New York with Empire State Evangelizing Association we had the opportunity to develop friendships with people in churches all up and down the Eastern Seaboard states. This included Pennsylvania. One couple, who ministered in a small community in Western Pennsylvania, had us come and speak to their congregation about our work in New York.

While with them, we got to know their young son. Our friends were unable to have children of their own through birth so they had adopted a beautiful little boy and were raising him in the Lord. The little fella…  ( Click for more )

Fishermen and golfers in churches have been arguing for some time concerning which group Jesus would hang out with were He here today. The biggest argument that fishermen give is that Jesus hung out with fishermen before so, it stands to reason, He would do so again today. There is a small problem with that concept of the argument.

The vast majority of fishermen today are hobbyists or sportsmen. They have a day job which pays the bills and fishing is what occupies their free time. While they are passionate about their sport, it is, nonetheless, just a sport for them. Involved…  ( Click for more )

March 2, 2017

I love little children. My wife says its because we're on the same mental level. I remind her that it's not nice to insult little children that way. Little children can ask the most womderful questions and do so with an honesty and curiosity that is refreshing. Plus, they can keep you on your toes. Take the instance of little Peyton this past Sunday morning.

When Peyton and his family came in and sat down I went back to greet them. After all the greetings were out of the way Peyton looked up at me and asked, "Why did you drown that little boy?" His mother and father were…  ( Click for more )

February 23, 2017

One of the rules of golf that is often overlooked is the rule of the club limit. Each golfer is allowed to carry as many as fourteen clubs in his/her bag. This limit allows for some interesting combinations of clubs for many golfers. Most "sets of clubs" are comprised of three woods, eight irons and a putter. Today's standard is for the three woods to be a driver accompanied by a three wood and a five wood. The irons are usually the three through nine irons along with a pitching wedge. And, of course, a putter.

If you've done the math, that's twelve clubs. That means two…  ( Click for more )

February 16, 2017

As a youth, and on into my young adult years, I played a number of different sports which required that I run and run fast. At various times during my sports ventures I was actually timed for my speed. I was not the fastest person on the team when such times were taken. In truth, I was generally somewhere in the middle of the pack as having "normal" speed.

But I never worried about it. I was able to get to that deep fly ball to center field. I could get behind the defensive back and catch the pass and then outrun the defender to the endzone for the touchdown. I could run…  ( Click for more )

February 9, 2017

This age thing is annoying. They say (whoever they are) you forget what you've just said and repeat yourself quite frequently. This age thing is annoying. They say (whoever they are) you forget what you've just said and repeat yourself quite frequently. That being said (twice even) growing old is not all that it's cracked up to be.

I pray that I can grow old gracefully. I pray that I do not become some curmudgeon whose outlook on life is self-centered. I have the privilege of being around some of the finest people anyone could wish to meet. The senior saints of the Minorsville…  ( Click for more )

February 2, 2017

Way back when, when life was a lot simpler and my kids were still kids, I used to sell shoes. No, truthfully, I subscribed to one of those mail order shoe houses that gave you discounts on quality footwear if you sold so much to other people. I was able to move a pair or two but found out that selling your friends something that you wanted them to buy for your personal benefit could strain the relationship.

That aside, I learned some things about shoes and clothing in general. The label that you see in the shoe is not necessarily the name of the shoe factory from which it came.…  ( Click for more )

January 26, 2017

Aging is a subtle demon. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. As a youth I can remember days at play where I ran all day on a football field. In my late teen years I was playing a lot of basketball; first as a freshman in college for the Johnson Bible College junior varsity basketball team, then in intramurals at both JBC and Kentucky Christian.

It was at JBC that I had the most fun in intramurals. My legs were still reasonably fresh and my knees had not yet started to deteriorate. In one game I was called for three goal tendings. In another, one kid on the sideline…  ( Click for more )

January 19, 2017

Just two days to go. Just two days before "IT" has to be in the mail. Just two days until the package that evryone dreads sending must be postmarked. Just two days until many must part with their hard earned cash to satisfy the demands of their government. Just two days left before the Internal Revenue Service of the United States Government must be given the taxes that are due for the year 2003.

Ever listen to the disdain with which most people talk about the I. R. S.? Ever hear someone actually talking to an I. R. S. agent? It can be rather frightening. Usually mild mannered…  ( Click for more )

January 12, 2017

He started the day at seven under par and tied for the lead at the Masters with Chris DeMarco. By the sixth hole he was was four under and out of the lead with South African Ernie Els on top of the leader board. He rallied on the back nine and played falwlessly through one of the most difficult stretches of golf holes in the world capping it with a birdie on sixteen to tie Els for the lead. On eighteen he had eighteen feet of nasty Augusta National green to traverse for a birdie and the victory. The ball dropped in the cup as the crowd around the eigtheenth green exploded in cheers.…  ( Click for more )

January 5, 2017

In a few hours (it is 5:00 DST here in Georgetown) several ministers from the Stamping Ground, Kentucky area will be walking from the Christian Church in Stamping Ground to the Baptist Church in Stamping Ground. So what, right? Well, it is a big so what. Each of us will be taking a turn carrying a cross. I got to heft the cross yesterday in the workshop of one of our elders at Minorsville and it is heavy. T. Wright makes a cross to last and makes it solid.

The distance we will be carrying the cross is roughly an eighth of a mile. Nowhere close to the distance that Jesus had…  ( Click for more )

December 29, 2016

The ministry is not a profession. It is not a job. It is not a business. The ministry is either who a person is or it is nothing at all. The functions of ministry, the needs of ministry, the demands of ministry; all combine to say live the life or don't live the life. There is a choice.

Every now and then something happens that makes this all come to light. There may be an elderly lady in a nursing home. The minister asks someone to go with him to visit the lady. The response? "Well, Preacher, I don't really enjoy going to nursing homes." Guess what? It's not on the…  ( Click for more )

December 22, 2016

If you have ever watched Saturday morning cartoons I am sure that somewhere along the way you have seen the Road Runner. He was one of my favorites when I used to watch them years ago. Then I introduced my children to the Road Runner and they watched him also until such things as Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles and He-Man came along.

The crazy thing is, just about every Road Runner cartoon was the same. His nemesis was a persistent and creative critter named Wile E. Coyote. It seems that his plight in life, his sole object for living, is to catch the Road Runner. Usually the…  ( Click for more )

December 15, 2016

Holy Week. The week beginning with Palm Sunday and ending with Easter. A time of triumph and victory. A time of reflection and reconsideration. A time of challenge. A time of awe. Eight days which rocked our world as none had ever before or have ever since. Holy Week. A time of shame?

Having been in the ministry for some thirty-four plus years now I have marvelled at the human intellect and its disfunctional nature at this time of the year. Only perhaps at Christmas will the human intellect operate at a level comparable to that of this week. For somewhere deep inside…  ( Click for more )

December 8, 2016

Art Linkletter used to have a program on TV called "People Are Funny." If you watch people long enough you will agree. Just this past evening I saw something that I never thought I would see on a game show. My wife and I had just finished supper and we sat down to watch "Wheel of Fortune."

One of the puzzles was particularly difficult for the contestants and they bought every vowel they could. Which meant that the last consonent completely solved the puzzle to the point where all that had to be done to win was read. The woman who inserted the last consonent was looking at…  ( Click for more )

December 1, 2016

Last evening I had the privilege to view the tool collection of a friend of mine. I am not talking about Shopsmiths and digital saws. I am talking about tools from current times to way back. They are all kept in a garage. There are literally thousands of tools hanging in this man's garage. Many of them are not your average wrench.

I was shown wrenches for every purpose you could imagine. If there was a need to remove a nut a wrench was invented to accomplish the job. Everything from the forerunner of the Crescent (R) wrench to old time buggy wrenches were found hanging on…  ( Click for more )

November 24, 2016

You won't see them at first. You won't know that they have arrived until their familiar calls start to fill the air. And fill the air they will. They'll set up a cacaphanous din that will be heard for miles around. One of the most amazing biological wonders of all time is coming; Brood X - the seventeen year cicada.

The cicadas are an amazing breed of insect. Most insects reproduce very quickly and easily, live a short life and die. A common housefly will reproduce a thousand times compared to one cycle of life for the cicada. Even the elephant, a mammal, is a marvel of…  ( Click for more )

November 17, 2016

"The spider skillfully grasps with its hands, and it is in king's palaces." Proverbs 30:28 Let me add something to that verse. "The worms will find a way to escape the deluge and will visit your palace in the morning." Yes, you read that right. Worms. The wet weather activates them. They have to come out of their little worm runs because of the water. For whatever reason they seek out our kitchen floor and enter under the back door off the deck. Pretty much every morning after a rainy day we have the little beggars on our floor right near that door. …  ( Click for more )

November 10, 2016

Every now and then you realize that you have slipped up. Last night I sat with my son, Sean, in the upper arena of Rupp Arena in Lexington and watched my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes win their first round game of the NCAA National Basketball Tournament. At one point my emotions got the best of me and I put my hand on Sean's shoulder and told him, "Thank you, son. I love you." That was such a tremendous gift for a son to give his father. Then I remembered why I am such a fan of the Buckeyes. I had a father, too.

My dad was raised in the radio era. He used to listen to…  ( Click for more )

November 3, 2016

The weather has been absolutely beautiful here in the Blue Grass until just yesterday. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday were gorgeous days with temperatures more indicative of June rather than March. Even yesterday, with all its storms and rain, the temperatures were mild enough that I didn't bother to even wear a jacket to work. It was that warm. So what did I do when I wound up with most of Monday afternoon off? Yeppers. I hit the golf course. I stayed right in Georgetown and played the Cherry Blossom Golf Course.

Cherry Blossom is a well designed and manicured golf course…  ( Click for more )

October 27, 2016

Opening night. The glitter of the marquee. It could be a show on Broadway, a picture at the Cineplex, or a local restaurant just down the street from you. Opening nights are a big deal for a lot people. They just simply have to be there and be able to say that they were there. Opening nights are important also for other situations. Take the case of the opening night of Pauley Pavilion, the home of the University of California at Los Angeles Bruins basketball team. Yeah, you got it; UCLA.

Pauley Pavilion opened the night of December 1,1973. The legendary John Wooden was…  ( Click for more )

October 20, 2016

This past Sunday afternoon our church took an afternoon out. Twenty of us met at CiCi's. If you don't know what a CiCi's is, it is a buffet pizza place that is really inexpensive. We ate our fill. Some of us ate our fill and the fill of some of the people who were not able to be there. Of course that fulfilled one of the "Three F's" of Christianity; faith, fellowship and food. Following the food we went to the local bowling alley here in Georgetown to have some more fun (guess that's also an "F" of the church).

Bowling is classified as a sporting activity.…  ( Click for more )

October 13, 2016

Recently, a friend of mine sent me a story of a man whose wife continually pestered him to teach her how to play golf. He finally relented and took her to the course. The first hole was a par three of some 170 yards or so. The husband addressed the ball and then proceeded to hit a beautiful shot that came to rest about thirty feet from the cup. "Now you do the same thing I just did," he told his wife. His wife then hit an ugly snap hook that hit a tree on the left of the hole, ricocheted off a rock behind the green and then rolled straight into the cup. "So now…  ( Click for more )

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