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God says in Proverbs 12:4, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones." In other words, a wife can bring the greatest joy to her husband or the greatest misery. The excellent wife is the crown of her husband, the best thing he has in life. He is proud to be seen with her and to call her his own. Proverbs 19:14 says, "House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." In other words, all you need to do to be given wealth and a large inheritance is to be born into the right family. But in order to be given not just any wife but a prudent and an excellent wife, you must receive a blessing from God, a divine and gracious gift. Certainly, a wealthy father could arrange for a marriage for his son to a woman of higher society and class. But to find a woman of excellence, that will require divine intervention.

Proverbs 31:10-31 says:

10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
14She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
15She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
18She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
20She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates."

The excellent wife is rare, and her worth is more than jewels. Here is a list of the characteristics of such a woman as presented in the text:

·She is trustworthy. (v. 10-11)

·She only does her husband good. (v. 12)

·She is a diligent worker. (v. 13)

·She makes sure that there is ready food, physically and spiritually. (v. 14-15)

·She works on the side to make a profit for the home. (How much a woman can and should work outside the home is dependent on the specific circumstances, though her chief responsibility is to see to things in the home if at all possible (see Titus 2:5)). (v. 16)

·She is strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually. (v. 17)

·She rejoices in the fruit of her labor. (v. 18)

·She is mindful of the needs of her family even if it means having to get up at night. (v. 18)

·She is able to take care of needs around the home such as for clothing. But more than that, she reaches out to others, especially those in need, with a sensitivity that only a woman can possess. (v. 19-20)

·She makes sure her family is well-clothed and is able to present themselves with dignity. (v. 21-22)

·Her husband has achieved respect and recognition by the leading men at least partly because of his wife’s influence on him and in the community. (v. 23, also cross reference verse 31)

·As she is able, she uses her gifts and training to make goods or to serve the community in exchange for a profit for her family. The key is that she is not idle and she is not a malicious gossip (see 1 Timothy 5:13). (v. 24)

·She is not living in fear and worry because she draws her strength from the Lord and realizes that a person of dignity lives in confidence in Him. (v. 25)

·When she speaks, she speaks wisdom and sound teaching which is given with kindness and grace. (v. 26)

·She is not lazy but takes great care to make sure her household is taken care of and in order. (v. 27)

·Her children and husband bless her, thank her, and praise her because of who she is and how she lives. (v. 28-29)

King Lemuel, author of the thirty-first chapter of Proverbs, closes with a commentary. He says in effect, "In light of all that I have just described as being what characterizes the excellent wife, can’t you see how charm can be shallow and superficial and how mere physical beauty is insufficient to becoming a woman of excellence? Rather, it is the fear of God and not mere beauty or charm that leads to being a woman of excellence. The woman who fears God will be praised by her family and by Almighty God. Her community will respect her, and her deeds and all that her hands have labored to create, serve, and give will be evidence of her excellence." What an incredible passage this is and so full of wisdom! The feminist movement wants Christian women to focus on their careers above their homes, be the dominant leading influence at home, and even try to live independent of a loving relationship with a husband. They end up trying to be the men they always wanted to marry. But this passage presents a more excellent way. There is nothing wrong with having a pleasant personality or being attractive, but without the fear of the Lord and the character of heart of the woman presented in Proverbs 31, those characteristics are vain, empty, meaningless, and unsatisfying. May God raise up more godly women who model themselves not after what society calls excellent or womanly but upon what God says. His way leads to the most satisfying marriages, the best families, and the best lives.

"God's Words For US" from Cecelia Lester

Trusting God Yields Happiness