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Girl Meets God

    by Melissa Mathews

A Done Deal
Date Posted: August 8, 2004

Set your jaw and clench your fists. Nothing short
of death must ever be permitted to come between the two of you. Nothing!
-James Dobson

When I was in high school, I had this problem. I had big lips. I think I've told you before that my nickname for a while was "Melipsa." I had another problem: Board- straight, thick brown hair. It was not nearly as thin as Jackie's or Marla's. The latest hairstyle always worked so well with their hair. (Hmm, maybe because they took the time to fix it!?)

And then one day, I grew up. I'm not sure when the moment of epiphany came. But one day I decided that I liked my lips. They were great lips. People must have been making fun of me because they were jealous. I also decided that my hair was perfect too—and I still never fixed it. Straight is great, and dark brown is a smart color. (Though I'm finding that it doesn't hide gray very well.)

I'm not going where you think I'm going with this.

Back when I was a kid in Arkansas, you were pretty much stuck with what you got. All that cosmetic surgery was something you read about in Seventeen magazine. When it came to my body, I decided that since I couldn't change it, I might as well enjoy it.

There are some of you wives that need to move that direction in your marriage. Quit wondering if it's going to work. Quit thinking "Can I stay married to this guy?" Quit second guessing your decision.

Did you make a vow to stay married to your husband till parted by death? If you did,
then start figuring out a way to enjoy it. When you settle in your mind that the decision has already been made, then you are more likely to channel your energy toward improving things. The "done deal" theory played a key role in helping Scott and I work through our first two years of marriage. The contract had been signed. The question was "How do we make this work?" not "Can we make this work?" The question was "How can we enjoy this?" not "Can we scratch our names off the license?"

So if you are married, and finding things a bit challenging at times, remember this verse from Deuteronomy 23:23 "Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth."

You've got big lips and brown hair. How can you learn to appreciate them?
New lip liner? Some highlights?

You chose to marry the man of your dreams. How will you start enjoying him?


P.S. (If you are facing problems of physical abuse in your marriage, please get professional help.)

"The Way" from Kevin Pauley

Awiya the Hunter

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Biography Information:
I'm a preacher's kid, pastor's wife, and southern belle who married a Southern California boy. Can you say 'culture clash?' Scott and I have four boys - Max, Mark, Jackson, and Grant who keep us busy with homework and sports.

Scott and I have been married 22 years and currently live in Northern California where we are beginning year five as church planters. I also teach 12th grade English and love it.

I would love to hear from you. Email me anytime at melissa.g.mathews@gmail.com
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