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Girl Meets God

    by Melissa Mathews

A Lesson in Anger Management
Date Posted: June 20, 2004

"If interruptions annoy me and private cares make me impatient;
if I shadow the souls about me because I myself am shadowed,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."
Amy Carmichael

I've got another hint for irritated wives this week. (So if you never get irritated with your husband, you can quit reading right now.)

This past winter Scott and I took our boys to the mountains and the snow. Living where we do makes this easy because it's only 70 miles away.

But of course, even though we were only going to be gone six hours, we had 15 errands to do on the way out of town. One of which was to get me coffee, the other was to get gas at this little unmanned station where it seems like the gas is 20 cents cheaper than anywhere else. And in an SUV with a 45 gallon tank, that means you save up enough money to stop and have dinner on the way home (or at least buy my cup of coffee.)

The gas tank was running super-duper, nerve-wrackingly low, but Scott really wanted to stop at this particular station which was on the way, but about 20 miles from our house. And being the addict that I am, I was also hinting about all the potential Starbucks locations where we could stop. Scott missed every hint.

Desperation for coffee was setting in, and the gas gauge on the truck was beginning to send an electric pulse to the pit of my stomach. We were fifteen miles down the road, and only 5 miles away from a full tank, but we were just about to pass the very last place to get a cup of coffee. So, my brain started problem solving, and the hints got a little more explicit. "Scott, why don't you pull off here for coffee? It's our last chance." But I was also thinking "There's a gas station at this exit too."

To my relief, we pulled over for coffee, but somehow Scott missed the part about getting gas. We got back on the interstate and were now only three exits away from relaxing.

After four sips of my nice warm foam, Scott pulled off at Penryn Road. "Yeah, we made"...spit, sputter, stall. Ugh. We hadn't made it! We were an overpass away from a full tank of cheap gas. Now Scott would have to walk over the interstate to the expensive gas station across from the cheap station so he could buy a gas can.

When he got back from the station, they had been gracious enough to spare Scott the 11 dollars to buy a gas can by loaning him one. So of course, then we were obligated to fill our tank at the expensive station. We could have filled up 30 seconds from home if we had wanted expensive gas! Thus, our twenty-mile trek to save $9.14 on gas had been a wasted trip.

It would have been wasted except for the lesson I learned.

As I sat waiting for Scott, with my four boys moaning and groaning about being late to meet Aunt Michelle and Uncle Brant, I can honestly say that I wasn't upset. It was a moment of clarity when I realized that anger and irritation was pointless. Being annoyed and grouchy with Scott would only stand to ruin the rest of the day. It would not help this situation get better, or go away faster. Irritation would only prolong the painful reality that we had made an extremely time-consuming miscalculation.

So next time your husband (or was that me?) strands you on the side of the road, or the waiter screws up, or your son scratches the paint on the car, or you forget the one thing you really needed from the grocery store-- RELAX.

Ask yourself the question, "What will irritation and anger do to help this problem?"
Say this verse instead: "Let your gentleness be evidence to all that the Lord is near."

(Philippians 4:5, my paraphrase. It might help to memorize the first part of that verse too. But I bet you already know it :) )

"Word from Scotland" from Sandy Shaw

"Lord God, You Have a Funny Way of Working at Times"

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Biography Information:
I'm a preacher's kid, pastor's wife, and southern belle who married a Southern California boy. Can you say 'culture clash?' Scott and I have four boys - Max, Mark, Jackson, and Grant who keep us busy with homework and sports.

Scott and I have been married 22 years and currently live in Northern California where we are beginning year five as church planters. I also teach 12th grade English and love it.

I would love to hear from you. Email me anytime at melissa.g.mathews@gmail.com
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