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    by Melissa Mathews

An Uncertain Bird
Date Posted: January 28, 2007
I would love to write some short, pithy column today that with surety states my new focus for 2007. I would love to trumpet loudly the new Melissa you will see one year from today. But sadly, I’m not able to do that. The older I get, the more certain I am that change is the most uncertain bird on earth.

The Lord knows I have desired change. In fact, there are a few attributes about myself that I have wanted to amend since I was old enough to form thoughts and opinions. And yet, looking at the last 20 years, those attributes have showed some minor improvement, but not the dramatic difference I have been wishing for since I was old enough to wish.

Maybe that’s the problem- sometimes I just wish. “God, please make me skinny,” I pray while I eat my third helping of mashed potatoes. Or I plead "God, please help me get all my papers graded," but I get in bed at 9:30.

Other times I work hard at my goal. For a solid 3 ½ days I keep all the laundry done. (Or is that just three hours?) Then I forget to rely on the Holy Spirit as my strength to keep working. I can't just wish or just work.

I’ve got to work, and pray for God to help me keep working. Paul said it well to the church at Phillipi: “For it is God who works [in me] to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13).

So I'm praying this year for God to work on me, and keep giving me the will to change. Maybe this most uncertain bird will change for good.

(If you have already read this online, my apologies. But for some technical reason, my column has not gone out on email for the last several weeks. So, I'm trying once again.)

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Biography Information:
I'm a preacher's kid, pastor's wife, and southern belle who married a Southern California boy. Can you say 'culture clash?' Scott and I have four boys - Max, Mark, Jackson, and Grant who keep us busy with homework and sports.

Scott and I have been married 22 years and currently live in Northern California where we are beginning year five as church planters. I also teach 12th grade English and love it.

I would love to hear from you. Email me anytime at melissa.g.mathews@gmail.com
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