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Small Kindness, Small courtesies, Small considerations, Habitually practiced in our daily lives, give a greater charm to the character than any display of great talents or accomplishments. - M.A. Kelty

Two weeks ago, in the interest of putting a spark in the marriage, I decided to do something sweet for Scott. While I was surfing the web for work, an ad popped up-"Send a song to someone you love." Great idea, I thought. So I went to this website and picked out a musical card to send to Scott. It was Rod Stewart's "Have I told you lately that I love you..." I can hear you all saying "Aahh." I thought it was a great idea too.

Scott wasn't so impressed. He deleted it from his inbox without even reading it! "It was taking too long. I couldn't figure out how to open it!" Ok, so that effort at romance was a miserable failure.

Today, I decide to try again. Like a good mother, I was racing around the grocery store trying to meet all my boys at home with the perfect after-school snack. I grabbed ice cream for the four little boys. Hmm, what to get for the big boy Scott? You think after 15 years, the decision would get easier, but it hasn't. I'm walking down the cookie isle and the iced animal crackers catch my eye. This might work. I think I've heard him say these are his favorites. They happen to be on sale, so I get one bag for the little boys and one bag for Scott so he doesn't have to share.

When I get home and start unloading the groceries, he spots the cookies. "My favorite!!" he yells. He grabs a bag of cookies, some milk, and locks himself in the bedroom. Bingo! I think I did it. I've found a treat he likes. My suspicions were confirmed later tonight when he actually said "That's the sweetest thing you've ever done for me." Go figure.

So, here's the point. In pursuing your husband, chase him the way he wants to be chased, not the way YOU want to be chased. The goal of your pursuit is to re-kindle the warm fuzzies in your relationship, not to give hints as to how he can love you better. Think really hard. How can you impress him today, or make him say "wow," or bring a smile to his face? Would he like a surprise visit from you at lunch? A day of golf with his buddies? Monday Night Football with you? You have a warm spot in your heart already, don't you? And all you've done is think about doing something sweet for him.

Start playing the game again to win your husband's affections. You might swing hard on your first try and strike out like I did with the e-card. But, I still finished the day further around the bases because Scott was even more dear to my heart than the day before.

"Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life" from Tom Kelley

The Curse is Gone