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"The mind is its own place,and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell,and a Hell of Heaven."John Milton

My first hint for irritated wives seems like it would be too clearly visible even to mention. But it's surprising how quickly you might have forgotten the obvious -- you chose your husband. Now, I know that there are places in the world where marriages are still arranged. But come on, in most cultures, a woman has the freedom to choose whomever she wishes as a husband. She can say "yes" or "no" to whatever proposals she receives.

I know it would surprise most people who know me (especially my family) that I had a proposal for marriage when I was only 16 years old. I had the choice to say yes to him -- and my life would have looked much different than it does now. I would be married to a crop-duster in Arkansas who, judging from his high school behavior, might still be drinking too much. My point being -- I HAD A CHOICE. And you had one too.

So, when you start to get annoyed or irritated in your marriage, just remember: You chose him -- and you are a very smart girl. What did you like about him? Why did he stand out above the rest? Was he successful, handsome, athletic, brilliant, humble, funny, serious?

Some of the best marriage advice I ever got was from my mother: "What you like about him the most before you get married is what will bug you the most after you get married." She was so right. Scott's strengths were my weaknesses, and that was the attraction that drew me to him. But now that we were married, his "super, spiritual side" was driving me crazy. I knew that I had to make the mental decision to embrace his strength again-to see it through my pre-married eyes and let it shape me until it became my strength also-or I at least got a little better at it.

Maybe you are arguing with my point right now by thinking - "... "But my husband is a different man now-this is not the guy I married!" And surely, you are not still the same girl who took those marriage vows either. You have both changed-in good ways and bad ways. The wedding vow is a commitment to keep marrying over and over again the person each of you will become over the years. Every day there is a choice to make in marriage. Will I love and honor my husband, no matter who he has become?

So here is the verse for us to put by the kitchen sink this week and memorize:

"Finally, [sisters], whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Think about all his good traits, not his bad ones. Dwell on what you love about him, not what you hate. Then you will be reminded of what a smart girl you are, and what a well-chosen (and lucky) husband you have.

"God's Words For US" from Cecelia Lester

Yahweh Shammah,