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Girl Meets God

    by Melissa Mathews

To Raise or Raze, That is the Question
Date Posted: August 3, 2008

If you don’t have family that lives in Southern California, I send you my deepest sympathies because there is nothing more relaxing than a day of vacation at the beach when you have free housing (thank you, Uncle Don). And it’s even more relaxing when one’s children are old enough to occupy themselves independent of adult interaction.

Last week on our vacation in So Cal (as the locals call it), I was relaxing on the beach with a book, and my children were engaged in building sand “things.” Two days previous, they had built a sand couch (because all the chairs were taken, and they had nowhere to sit). Their Aunt Liza, who spoils them rotten, had gone earlier to buy them a real shovel, so there was no limit as to size and construction. After digging and swishing the sand around for a while, they finally decided to dig a tunnel.

After several chapters of my book, they had a tunnel constructed that was about two-feet long and one-and-a-half feet high. It had a three-foot trench leading to the entrance which was just long enough to lie down in before wiggling through the tunnel and a one foot trench at the end of the tunnel so you could get out of it.

The boys all took turns crawling through, slowly with a little fear at first, then with more confidence. They also shared the tunnel with others. My lively and much littler niece and nephew went through. Two beautiful, blond, totally So Cal kids also went back and forth through the tunnel for about 15 minutes.

What I found interesting was the desire some people had to destroy the tunnel. Some would edge really close to the roof of the tunnel like they were going to step on it, then they would dash away.

“People are always willing to tear down something that they didn’t build” was a thought that flashed through my head.

Then one of the brothers who had worked hard during tunnel construction jumped over it and scared us into believing he was about to collapse the tunnel in one poorly made landing. He did it several times like he didn’t know the risk he was taking.

Hmm, I guess we often try to destroy even the things we ourselves have built.

I couldn't help but think of the glares I make at my husband Scott when I disagree or criticize or get annoyed too easily. Then there are my verbal jabs and nit-picks:

“Why did you do that?”

“That will never happen!”

“In your dreams.”

“Ughh!”

And one can’t forget the rolled eyes or reminders of poor decisions and wrongs suffered.

Solomon must have been talking to me when he wrote “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1). Without even recognizing it, I sometimes poke and prod in a way that threatens to collapse the work I’ve spent 20 years trying to build. Lord, please help me guard my heart and tongue from tearing down when I should be building up. Please help me dig a great tunnel, not cave it in.

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Biography Information:
I'm a preacher's kid, pastor's wife, and southern belle who married a Southern California boy. Can you say 'culture clash?' Scott and I have four boys - Max, Mark, Jackson, and Grant who keep us busy with homework and sports.

Scott and I have been married 22 years and currently live in Northern California where we are beginning year five as church planters. I also teach 12th grade English and love it.

I would love to hear from you. Email me anytime at melissa.g.mathews@gmail.com
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