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"What have I gotten myself into?"

I have only asked myself that question once in my marriage of 16 years. We had just arrived home to our single-wide trailer from a two week honeymoon in Washington, D.C. (That is another story in itself.) The house was piled high with boxes to unpack and clothes to put away. It was Saturday, and being the bad-I mean good-preacher that Scott was, he immediately sat down to write his sermon for a congregation of 12 in Heplar, KS-- while I unloaded the car. You can begin to feel my irritation, can't you? "I can handle this," I thought, "a good wife has patience." I messed around the trailer a bit, moved some stuff around, and unpacked a few boxes.

Then Scott wanted dinner. Ok, that's what a good wife does. Surely I could scrape up dinner in a house that has only been inhabited by a single, 20-year-old male. I'll look in the refrigerator. Something must be in there.

To my disgust, there was something in the refrigerator-a black, furry mass with a stench like I had never smelled. Who knew that bananas could do that! Scott had put them in the refrigerator three weeks earlier before he left Missouri for our wedding in small-town Arkansas. And, as you've already guessed, that was the straw that broke a very feeble camel's back. How could he be so stupid! Bananas don't even go in the refrigerator! The smell might never come out! And you're not even going to clean it up?!

I don't remember exactly what happened next, just that I went to bed alone in tears, asking myself that question: "What have I gotten myself into?!"

From where you are reading, my silly, selfishness is apparent. But at the time, it wasn't apparent to me. It actually took a few more months of wrong turns, overflowing garbage cans, and underwear in the living room before I made a startling discovery. I was the problem. It wasn't that Scott had suddenly become an air-headed, selfish ogre. Go figure. He was exactly the same Scott as the one I had married 3 months prior. He was exactly the same Scott who just 90 days before was the most amazing, disciple of Christ that I had ever met. I was the problem. I had morphed into this irritated, impatient person that thought I was right about everything all the time. Go figure!

Hopefully, you are not identifying with this whole scenario. Surely there are no dirty-socks-in-the-floor, empty-gas-tank, un-deposited-paycheck, or unlocked-door problems at your house. But, if this sounds all too familiar to you, I do have a few hints I've learned to help ease the irritation - a few hints that helped me get my mind out of the mess that I thought I was in.

But, it's too much to say all in one breath-and certainly too much to hear all in one sitting. The next two weeks I'll give some ideas that I hope will make you think your marriage was made in heaven (and not in that other place:).

"God's Words For US" from Cecelia Lester

Yahweh Shammah,