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One of the most frequently quoted portions of Holy Scripture among Christian home educators is Deuteronomy 6:4-9. In these verses, the Lord gives a clear command for parents to diligently teach their children the whole of God’s precepts and commandments throughout the course of each day. In particular, verses six and seven state: “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

What is obvious from this passage, is that Almighty God desires for parents to diligently and regularly instruct their covenant children in the truth of God’s Word in order that they may be prepared to walk righteously as lights in a dark and fallen world. What is less obvious, however, is how God directs parents to accomplish the noble and vital task of biblical child training. The Lord simply directs parents to walk and talk with their children throughout the hours of each day in order that they may teach them how to apply the truth of God’s Word to the issues of life.

“Wait a minute!” you may say. “The greatest duty of parenting can’t be summed up that simply, … or can it?” Too often Christian parents, including those involved in home education, image that the process of imparting spiritual and moral truth must be accomplished in some sort of ridged manner, complete with plenty of formal classes and workbooks. Now, it is undoubtedly true that most parents will find that they can accomplish some aspects of their training more efficiently through the utilization of Bible study texts and supplemental resources such as maps, flashcards, charts, etc. The true issue or concern, however, is not about books or the value of formal class work. The point that parents need to grasp, regardless of whether they elect to use Bible study texts or classes, is that the most important aspect of biblical training was never designed by Almighty God to be limited to or governed by man-made books or study programs. The Lord, after all, gave children to parents, and it is His intention that they take an active and personal role in the spiritual development of their offspring.

The key to understanding the spirit of what parents are to learn from Deuteronomy 6:6-7, is that it is not merely formal education which is instrumental in developing human character. God knows perfectly well what more Christian parents need to comprehend, namely, that His creatures were designed to receive their most influential instruction through the process of discipleship/personalized mentoring. As previously stated, formal instruction, including the use of such activities as catechism drill, do have their place. This does not change the fact, however, that what truly impacts the formation of character and convictions is accomplished by the numerous informal influences which surround children during their formative years and which constitute the moral atmosphere of their youth.

Although many home educators are not fully conscious of it, the so-called common everyday interactions that they have with their offspring actually make a significant impact upon their developing characters. A wise parent will, therefore, grasp the significance and importance of the cumulative effect of their daily efforts to walk and talk with their children in a godly manner. The Lord has, after all, given parents a two-fold duty to perform. First, to use their time and talents well as they live before the face of God, and also to prepare and qualify their children to do the same in the next generation. Parents, in other words, are not only to occupy well in terms of their work for God’s kingdom, but are also to train up their successors to follow in their godly lifestyle.

Part of the good news that we can glean from Deuteronomy 6, is that ordinary Christian parents can have a profound influence upon their children’s spiritual development without having to employ any costly methods or sophisticated programs. It was the godly nineteenth century educator and author Jacob Abbott who wrote the following concerning the power of parental influence to promote godliness in the lives of their children.

“Our object then, in talking to our children, is not to convey something novel or fascinating. We have only to clothe in plain language or simple stories such biblical/moral principles as they can understand for a positive impact to take place. Parents often pay too little attention to the routine opportunities God provides for them to instruct their children precisely because such moments are so routine. Their interaction with children is often limited to the necessary contact of command and obedience. Parents who devote some time to involving themselves in the pursuits and pleasures of their children will gain an ascendancy over them which, as they grow up, will be found to be immensely powerful.

The man who is pre-occupied with business or burdened with cares will have the tendency to avoid descending to the level of his children in conversation or play. Such a man will often ensure that his youngsters are trained up according to his rigid rules of conduct and with plenty of formal instruction. As his children grow up, however, no strong ties of interest or affection are built to reconcile the youngsters to their restraints or to provide allurement to the instruction they receive from others. Consequently, when the children pass from twelve to fifteen, or perhaps from fifteen to twenty, the parent gradually discovers that though all has been right to his eye, his children’s hearts have been going on in a course totally different than the one he intended. The alarmed and disappointed parent tries to bring back his children, but finds to his surprise and sorrow that he has no hold upon them. Though they have lived together for over fifteen years, they have in fact been strangers to each other far too often. They have moved in different circles, they have talked very little about the dreams and struggles of life. The children could not ascend to the region occupied by the father, and the father would not descend to that of his children. Thus they have been practically divorced, and the father finds that he has little hold over the heart of his children only when it is too late to pursue it.

Those parents who take the effort to consider how God has designed that children should be spiritually led and guided will discover that deep relationships have more influence in determining a child’s convictions about God than almost all other factors. It is the willingness of parents to engage their children on an emotional and spiritual level, thus creating a two-way relationship, which alone gives them any considerable power in securing the respect and affection of their children. Once parents, by the grace of God, begin to take a consistent interest in securing a biblical relationship with their children they will commonly develop strong connections with them. The young people will think as mom and dad think, and feel as they feel. They will catch the expressions and the tone of their parent’s voice, and will slowly begin to adopt most of their habits and priorities. The parent who associates freely with his children will, therefore, leave an image of his own character upon his offspring that will never be removed this side of heaven.

Once parents begin to assert a powerful personal influence for good in the lives of their children, the rest of the work should go relatively easy. Such parents can concentrate on exhibiting godly conduct and a right attitude in their children’s presence, and then rejoice to see how the Lord causes their youngsters to follow in their footsteps. This, in fact, will commonly be the case even if the parents did not necessarily intend for their children to adopt their example. Whatever priorities or principles that they see their parents cherish, they will themselves embrace. If they see that their parents love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity, and are living in the habitual fear of sin and in a steady effort to prepare for a future world, they will feel a stronger influence leading them in the same direction than any other human means can exert. In a word, if they love their parents, there will be a very strong tendency for their hearts to vibrate in unison with their parents. It need scarcely be mentioned that this discussion relates solely to the employment of human means, which can only be successful in promoting that thorough change in the desires and affections of the heart which constitutes salvation if they are in harmony with the will of God. One person plants, another waters, but it is God who must give the increase.

As we have just noted, the simple imparting of right attitudes and influences is very important, and yet, this is not enough. Parents must also clearly express godly truths while their children are in their presence. During the process of home instruction, at church, sitting by the fireside, and while taking a walk, parents must take the opportunity to express themselves on issues big and small. I do not mean here to prove your topic by way of a formal lecture, or to explain or illustrate the issue in great detail. I mean for parents to simply express what is right. Clothe the vital truths of life in language that can be readily understood by young minds. Give truth utterance. There is more in this than most parents understand, for they fail to recognize that young children are influenced more by simple expressions of what is right than by logical arguments on behalf of the truth.

Be always ready, therefore, not only to exhibit in your conduct the influence of right principle, but also to express that principle in language. Many parents imagine that unless they explain, illustrate, or prove the truth their youngsters will seldom accept their instruction. But such parents err; it is the simple expression of truth in a thousand various ways and on a thousand different occasions, which will do more than either explanation, illustration, or formal proof.

One final point remains in our consideration of this subject. Correct biblical principles or doctrine, must not only be exhibited in a parent’s conduct and expressed in their conversation, it must also be formally taught and proved from God’s Word on a regular basis. This act, although often accompanied by slow and tedious progress, must not be neglected. The admission of moral principle to the minds of the young and the formation of righteous habits may perhaps be most easily received at first by means of personal example, yet, it is only in the calm and intelligent conviction of reason that biblical truth can have any firm and lasting foundation. If a parent’s habitual conduct does not exhibit right principles in a personable manner, and their conversation express them clearly, they will seldom succeed in bringing their children to adopt them by mere arguments for the truth of Scripture. But if fathers and mothers take a personal interest in the spiritual development of their children, walking and talking with them in order to express what is right and true, then formal and logical instruction can indeed help to permanently secure the conquests which these influences will certainly have made.”

The wisdom of this author, and more importantly the teaching of Holy Scripture, regarding the way that the Lord has ordained for children to be taught can be summed up in the old adage: “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” Children, by their very nature, are imitators. It should not surprise us, therefore, to discover that God has made the effort to inform parents of the fact that the primary method for leading children in the way they should go must of necessity involve personal discipleship training. Good quality Bible study texts or well run Bible study classes will never be able to replace the influence of a loving father or mother. Biblical child training, therefore, demands that parents reject the humanistic notion that children should be “seen but not heard”. Deuteronomy 6 reminds us that parents are called to go out of their way to keep their children in the very center of their lives so that they can be mentored and taught in a comprehensive manner to the glory of God.

Copyright 2007 Michael J. McHugh

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