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Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I came into the garden to talk with my Lord. My steps were slow, and my heart was as heavy as a stone. Quietly, with head hung low, I sat down. Silence… I was too ashamed to speak, to even lift my eyes. I wondered if this is how Eve felt when she hid from God in her garden, sin-sick.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, I choked out in a whisper, “Lord, how could I have broken Your heart like this? How could I have let this happen, made these selfish disobedient choices which have grieved You and dishonored Your love? How could I have fallen like this? I love You, I love walking with You, serving You, belonging to You.” It was so unbearable to face Him, I couldn’t even cry.

As I looked away, my eyes fell on my herb garden, which had been untended for several weeks, since I’d been away on vacation. It had been weeded before I left, and watered by my neighbor while I was gone. Amidst the sage, and chives, and lavender, the poison had come back. Standing proud and defiant, it seemed unbelievably strong and tall, as if it had been there for months.

I am highly allergic to the poison in my garden – I only need brush against it to find myself soon after battling a wicked case of painful swelling and itching – it ravages my skin and leaves me red and blistered. So whenever I weed, I take great care to cover and protect myself, to guard against any possible exposure to my skin so I am not contaminated. Sometimes the poison pulls up easily, but there are some plants which have roots so deep that I can only cut them at ground level. Those are the plants of which I must be particularly watchful, as they grow back so quickly.

He drew me back to Himself with the caress of a warm evening breeze against my cheek. “Child,” He said tenderly, “there is your answer. You left yourself exposed, and didn’t tend to the poison of sin. You didn’t guard your heart.”

There are sins that are particularly tempting for me, the ones in which I so easily become entangled. I am well-acquainted with these sins, and they are well-acquainted with me. They are poison in my Christian walk. He was so right. I had not taken any measures to protect myself. Instead I ventured on, first taking one step, then another, and still another, until I brazenly ran full force into sin… and fell down the slippery slope until I was face-first in it’s contaminated cesspool. It didn’t happen overnight… the enemy’s seduction often doesn’t, does it? Like the poison, it grows leaf by leaf, stem by stem, until it’s too late and you’re tumbling down… down… down.

“Father, You picked me up… again…” I was so ashamed I wanted to die. While I knew He still loved me, I knew I had hurt Him, had sinned against Him. I felt as if I could never be of value to Him again, never serve Him again – I had really blown it this time. I remembered the promise of 1 John 1:9, and knew He would forgive me and cleanse me. But still, I shook my head in disgrace and humiliation. I felt worthless, and stupid, and sick.

“We will begin again,” He said, as He gathered me to Himself, “in the strength of my Son, in Whom you can do everything.”

We sat for a long while, my Lord and I, in the garden. He taught me that I need to look every day at my life, diligently seeking out any sign of deadly sin. And when I even think I see its ugly sprout, I must destroy it. If it is too strong for me, I must run away from it quickly, and run to Him, and He will destroy it… He will. But I cannot let it grow, it is a daily task, this weeding, it is a lifelong battle – no vacations, no “letting it go”.

I am still bruised and wounded from this encounter. It will take some time to recover, some time to run again. I pray God’s mercy that I haven’t allowed permanent damage to His name or my walk from the possible logical consequences of my actions, despite His forgiveness. But as I reach down to remove the last dead tendril of the sin that so easily entangled me, I take bittersweet comfort in the knowledge that He loves me, and forgives me, and is the God of second… and third… and fourth… chances.

How does your garden grow?

"Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life" from Tom Kelley

The Best Ace