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I recently had a close encounter with a version of myself I thought I had buried. But somehow she discreetly started to sneak in on me when I wasn’t looking. A good friend helped me to see that through my actions I had cracked the door open for her to creep in. Not only that, but to my friend I was clearly ready to throw the door open and let her waltz back in. While in my mind, well, at least the chain was on.

I know this sounds a bit cryptic but the actions and circumstances are not really relevant in this situation. What matters is what went on in my heart when my friend was sharing the potential consequences she associated with my actions. My inability to understand these potential consequences or agree with the advice of my friend exposed something in my heart. It pushed me to make a decision based on faith and on my trust in this person rather than myself. And even though in that very moment I could not see what she was talking about I listened, and slammed the door shut, dead bolted it even! It barely took a day for me to see what she was talking about how profitable it was to have listened to her. Sometimes it’s worth doing something even if you don’t 100% understand it especially when the guidance is coming from a trustworthy source. There are so many people in the bible that did things they did not understand because the instructions came from wise and reliable influences. (Disclaimer: now this does not mean you go and do everything your knuckleheaded friends tell you. I am talking about older, wiser, spiritual advisors here.)

Listening to my friend helped me to realize that there were some parts of my heart that I had not quite given over to God in a long time- parts that were being held ransom by false security. I was hiding behind my own self-sufficiency and it was making me blind to how vulnerable that made me to other attacks on my heart.

Jer17:9 (NIV) “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

Sufficient by definition means having everything one needs. Therefore to be self-sufficient would mean that I had everything I needed in myself. Deep in my heart I thought that God was not coming through for me the way I had envisioned/wanted him too and as a result I was trying to come through for myself. When I finally recognized this I was able to see that sometimes the false security that Satan holds out to me is my own strength.

Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV) "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. 8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

See the truth is that there is only one place that I really stand- in God’s presence (Jeremiah 32:27). Knowing God is my Rock enables me to continue to give my heart even when life hurts. However, this only works if I place my entire heart before God and entrust him with it. It is then that I am able to let go of the things that are not good for me or glorifying to God. After all, I am given everything I need through my knowledge of him.

1Peter1:3 NIV His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and goodness.

"'Winging It" from Stan Smith

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