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A friend once brought me a cup of coffee as a good will gesture. This task did not require extensive research or much effort but it was never the less a kind and thoughtful act. This random act of kindness happened over four years ago, and I had for a long time forgotten it , and yet as I began to learn more and more about mercy the memory returned. See, my reaction to the gesture was one of confusion and defensiveness. Instead of accepting the gesture I initially rejected it and was rather rude. The gesture had scratched at the surface of some things in my character that were not going to be revealed for years to come but once they were revealed I could not stop thinking about that fist gesture that cracked my wall. This act of mercy allowed me, for a split second, to truly see who I was and who I could become - -How hard and cold I could be.

This small moment allowed me to see my distrust and pride in but a glimpse. It would be years before I could see it in its full ugly form. It was man years before I saw it's roots. This pride screamed “ I don’t need you to do anything for me! I can do it myself.” A pride that turn a shade of judgmentalness as the thought continued, “and if you were strong enough you would see this and not be so weak as to show such kindness with no expectations. That’s how you get stepped on.” God has taken many years to melt that cold hard heart and yet every once in a while it skips to an old beat.

One of the definitions of mercy is “an act of kindness, compassion or favor, or to be forbearing.”

Forbearing means, “to sacrifice, hold back.”

When I read these words numerous instances came to mind when others had shown me mercy. I am not a merciful person. I am a critic. In areas where God calls for me to show mercy to others I can easily identify others as weak and in my pride be very dismissive of them in my heart.

Micah 6:8 He has shown you O man what is good And what dose the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.


When I read this recently a tone of irony struck me. On the one had it is as if God is saying well its plain and simple I am only asking you to do three things. Yet, the three things being asked of us are not so simple by nature.

He calls us to 1. Act in a just, fair way towards others. Treat them the way we want to be treated; 2. Don’t just show mercy, but love to show it. Give others the same measure of mercy you want to receive from Him; and 3. Be humble, remembering who God is.

I have been mediating on what it means to show mercy all week and how it ties into acting justly and being humble. Some quotes by C.H Spurgeon brought it together for me.

C.H Spurgeon wrote, “When you have found out what you really are, you will be humble [….] Humility must be in the heart, and then it will come out spontaneously as the outflow of life in every act”

I could not help but think that when others have shown me mercy it has been as a direct result of seeing me for who I really was in that moment and yet being willing to overlook it. In even the smallest moment resulting in an act of mercy they were also able to see themselves clearly enough to be able to identify that they too would want mercy extended to them if they were in my place.

As I am working on being more gentle I have seen God and those around me show me great mercy. I have also been able to identify one of the causes of my lack of gentleness in the moment. My lack of gentleness comes from within and has often come from a merciless heart, a haughty heart. I have also discovered that it is easier for me to attack what I am currently trying to conquer if I am humble enough to identify it for what it really is and how it makes me look from the inside out. Seeing this part of me has not been pleasant but knowing that mercy comes even when it is not given has helped me to take courage. At least I have been able to identify something in my heart to help me address not only the action but also the heart behind it.

"The Way" from Kevin Pauley

The Second Sin