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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
It is never a matter of if I will struggle, but rather a question of when. When I do, the challenge then becomes whether it will drive me to God or to what I know - my self-reliance. When I have faced challenges lately I run to God instead of defaulting to my own mechanisms. I finally realized these challenges God has allowed in my life are to show me where my heart is in my relationship with Him.
James 1:2-4 (The Message) 2Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. 3You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. 4So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
Once I started to embrace the challenges that came at work I really began to see how I had let the situation cause me to waver in my faith in so many small ways. One thing that it exposed was how I can pray and ask God for things and then walk away from that very prayer and doubt that God will answer it. If I truly believed He heard it and was working on an answer, I would be so much more patient and calm. I would be a lot less agitated by insignificant things and instead look to helping others. I would be able to rely on God’s wisdom and not my own human reasoning which is in conflict with trusting God.
James 1:5-7 (NIV) 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
To pray for something even as small as a package to get to its destination on time, and believe that it will, can be a challenge for me. If I truly believe that God has answered this prayer I would be able to surrender it to him and not give it a second thought. However, this is me we are talking about, so it takes the entire day of prayer to God to help me believe He has already answered the first prayer. This second prayer can support the first allowing me to be more at peace and not dwell on the first. It can prevent me from being tossed around by my emotions and know that I have already received what I ask for even if I do not yet see the answer.
By accepting the trials I am able to see the gifts that perseverance truly does bring with it. Instead of rejecting the opportunities to learn I can embrace them and actually learn something. Am I where I want to be? No. Am I open to what’s next and do whatever is placed before me with the right mindset? Yes. Well, at least today I am and that is pretty significant because the condition of my faith right now will determine how I respond to the next challenge.
Every day I have a million opportunities to trust God and believe that He loves me enough to answer my prayers and act accordingly. This relationship like any other takes work. There are rules, and lets face it, rules without the right relationship with God just lead to rebellion. When I get how much he loves me and see the secret that lies in perseverance, it gives me courage. It takes courage for me to trust God and I can start with that small package and muster my way up to trusting him with my career and my future. One day at a time, one act of faith at a time and one correct response after another until I can move and know that although I don’t want to be where I am at the moment, He has already answered this prayer. When the time is right I will see what I already know, He has the next step all planned out.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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