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I was walking down a street in Khartoum the other day, a bit zoned out, when a smiling friendly face appeared in the crowd, and I heard “Hey Kasia!” It gave me such a warm and peaceful feeling. The voice belonged to Rebecca, one of the girls I go to church with out here. I was really filled with joy to see her. It’s one thing to run into someone you know when you are in a familiar place, but when you are in a foreign place it is all the more special.

Human beings are such relational creatures. We need other people so much. We need our support network. These past few weeks I have fought to restore my heart to God and to be at peace with where I am; I have seen how God has wrapped his arms around me and provided people in my life to push me. I have come to a point in my journey where I am very aware that there is not much time left and that my remaining time will just fly by. I took a close friend to the airport today and it made me even more aware of the fact that in a little over a month I would be doing the same thing. Have I done all I can? Have I made the most of every day? No I have not. I know I have not and this thought brought on much guilt, until I read a passage that Rebecca shared with me when I ran into her. She was simply encouraged by God's grace.

Zechariah 3:4 (The Message) 4The angel spoke to his attendants, "Get him out of those filthy clothes," and then said to Joshua, "Look, I've stripped you of your sin and dressed you up in clean clothes."

v7 (NIV) 7 "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'If you will walk in my ways and keep my requirements, then you will govern my house and have charge of my courts, and I will give you a place among these standing here.

In The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho, the author writes, “ It’s only those who are persistent and willing to study things deeply, who achieve the Master Work.” (pp82)

“We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our passions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.” (pp76)

As I read the verses in Zechariah and Paulo’s words the same message was reinforced in my heart: 1. it will take work ALWAYS and 2. It will be a lot easier to repent daily and to do more if I simply remember who it is that is with me and on my side. It is great to run into acquaintances, but still it is still hard for me to see people I rely on leave the Sudan. Yet, God has been alongside me and within me this entire time--I can so easily take that for granted. God provides the support network, but ultimately he wants me to turn to Him.

Sometimes when it’s hot, as in 130 degrees hot, and I am running out of time, I feel like I don’t know which end is up anymore. In those times it can be easier for me to stand still instead of walking forward. If I let myself get stuck and stand still, and give in to fear: of losing time, of not knowing what is next, of what I have not been able to do, I will indeed not achieve anything. I’m learning that sometimes God keeps things really simple. He gives love and provides messengers, but he calls us to overcome our fears and get un-stuck so that we can see him more clearly This will allow us to do not only what he wants us to do, but what we desire to do. He gives us our dreams in the midst of uncertainty. My greatest and happiest days have been those which I have met head on with no expectations. These days have pleasantly surprised me and therefore I was able to make the most of them and see what God was giving me in that very day. On the days I was truly surrendered I received emails about possible jobs, ran into Rebecca, met new people and was able to be the most productive. It's a matter or constantly reminding myself that I must run to God more when I feel like I'm running from other things, especially time.

"'Christ in You...'" from Dale Krebbs

Origin Of Nations