Subscription Lists
Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
When asked to help in a variety of circumstances recently, I found myself seriously pausing before responding. The pauses were those of hesitation. I honestly did not want to do whatever was being asked of me. They were all small tasks, but I found myself flashing back to my childhood and felt the same inner resistance that swept hot over my face and stuck in my throat when I was asked to do something I did not want to do. However, I am not a kid anymore and in each instance the feeling passed after a few seconds and I did the right thing. But after a few of these incidents I realized something. This behavior was just a symptom of something greater going on inside.
Sometimes the reasons for resistance were related to circumstances, selfishness or laziness, but when I really thought about it there were other reasons for not wanting to do what I was asked or do. The reason was fear, a fear that someone might take advantage of me.
Hosea13:4 (NLT) "I am the LORD your God, who rescued you from your slavery in Egypt. You have no God but me, for there is no other savior.
As I listened to my friends make excuses for not changing or doing more, I realized that they too were reacting out of this fear. True service, according to God, comes out of sacrifice and sacrificing makes us vulnerable. When I serve, really serve, and sacrifice, I allow myself to be vulnerable. I am exposed and I don’t like it. I get hurt. I even get my heart broken. As a result, the reel of excuses instantaneously starts to roll in my head and when the reel ends I am left with one inconvenient truth- as a Christian I can not accept God as my Savior without making him my Lord.
I can’t just accept the God who saves my butt every time I get myself in trouble or do something stupid and then not do what he expects of me as my Lord. More importantly, when I don’t make him Lord, it’s because I doubt that he can truly save me in the situations where I feel vulnerable and exposed. I doubt that he can save me from future pain because he has let me feel pain before. However, no matter how hard I try I can not separate the two; if Jesus is not my Lord than he is not my savior either.
Zephaniah3:17 (NLT) For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."
When I am the Lord of my life, I only do things to an extent that feels comfortable because I do not rely on anyone to save me, but me. I am safe this way, less vulnerable but honestly, even this does not spare me from pain. In fact, it an effort to protect myself it can cause me to hurt my friends, as well as rob me of the only one who can truly comfort me and change my pain and fear into something so much more beautiful.
When Jesus is not my Lord and Savior, others may perceive me as a servant but I know in my heart whether that service is truly sacrificial. I can put the blame on others, seeing all the reasons why someone else can do what I am being asked to do, or I can just do it.
At the end of the day I can never truly sacrifice as much as Jesus did. My service and sacrifice, no matter how great, will always reap an end benefit, personal growth or otherwise; but Jesus received no personal benefit from his sacrifice for me. He was utterly vulnerable and exposed on the cross. When I accept Him as my Lord I am moved by my Savior’s love to respect him enough to try harder and aim to meet his standard and not just stop at my own. I move through my fears because I know there is something better promised. I have to do this at work, at home and in my personal relationships. Only I know when I am making every effort, and so does God.
At times it may be hard, scary, painful and inconvenient, but it is what I choose when I choose Jesus as my Lord and Savior. This is the only truth.
Matthew 7:21-23 (The Message) 21"Knowing the correct password--saying "Master, Master,' for instance--isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience--doing what my Father wills. 22I can see it now--at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, "Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' 23And do you know what I am going to say? "You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.'
Rate it:
Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
Receive the newest devotional each week in your inbox by joining the "Quiet Time" subscription list. Enter your email address below, click "Go!" and we will send you a confirmation email. Follow the instructions in the email to confirm your addition to this list.