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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Being Number Two or Number 9,999,999
Date Posted: April 19, 2011

There are times I can feel like I’m the supporting character in someone else’s story. Usually, I recognize that I am the heroine in my own story but there are those rare occasions where I lose sight of this. We all have personal goals: fitness, career, relationships. In all these realms of my life, reaching or exceeding my goals helps me to feel in control and like a winner. However, when I miss the target or things are not going according to plan I can feel like the number two, or worse, some number that’s in the thousands. I can feel like I’m in line for God’s attention and he has just not gotten around to me or is somehow withholding. This is false and is the greatest lie Satan tells us.

Joel 2:21 Be not afraid, O land; be glad and rejoice. Surely the Lord has done great things.

Lamentations 3:22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, […] v25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

As Christians we are always the lead in God’s story for us. We trust in him when we trust in the truth of his character; that he indeed does not withhold but does great things in his time. I was incredibly comforted and reminded of this by Hagar’s story. As the story goes, Sarah doesn’t think she is part of God’s plan for Abraham to be the father of all nations and resorts to giving Hagar, her maidservant, to Abraham to give him a child. When Hagar becomes pregnant Sarah flips out and mistreats her. As a result, Hagar runs away (Genesis 16:1-6). Then something amazing happens; God approached this secondary character, an Egyptian woman and spoke to her.

Genesis 16:13 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” For she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

I have read this story many times before and failed to see the intimacy of this passage until I recently listened to a message on it. The speaker also pointed to the similarity of this intimate moment between God speaking to Hagar at the well and Jesus speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4). Maybe you are single and watching yet another friend find and marry the love of their life. Maybe you are married trying to have a child while others seem to be getting pregnant just by sneezing. Maybe you have been passed up for a promotion you thought was meant for you or you didn’t reach that fitness goal you have been working so hard for. No matter what the case, God sees you and me. He sees and knows me intimately to my very core. I am the heroine in His story, and like in every story, the main character has to fight some battles and make some choices before they can see what is truly in stored for them. Let’s face it, if it were easy it wouldn’t be worth it. Sometimes waiting is the hardest work of hope, but it’s about what God does in me while I wait. Waiting tests my maturity and boy am I being tested on multiple levels.

Is 50:7 Because the Sovereign Lord helps me. I will not be dismayed. Therefore, I will set my face like a stone, determined to do his will… I will triumph.

Every hero has a mission that is greater than him or her, greater than the obstacles. In order to truly experience the adventure I must focus outward, hero’s are busy. Who has ever seen a hero just waiting around for something to happen? Hero’s take risks physically and with their hearts. I need to be busy, and not busy for busies sake, but busy with God’s business. When I am busy doing God’s work he unfolds the plot in his time. In each of our stories there are people who need us to love them and help them. Ishmael needed Hagar. We are heroes and heroines in the most amazing saga and the impact we can have if we just take the time to look past ourselves is eternal. The best part of all, we can take it one day at a time because we already know the ending- happily ever after, with Him.

Mtt 6:34 (The Message) Give your entire attention to what God is doing right how, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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