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I am a woman on a journey of learning how to make sure my reactions don’t deny Christ’s presence in me. I have been more fervent in this pursuit as of late because I see that people don’t care to meet my Jesus until they meet the reality of Jesus in my life. On this particular part of my journey this has meant me learning to really listen to God and do what He says. Now don’t get me wrong, I have been striving to do what God wants me to for years but in the past few weeks I have experienced God in an entirely new way, a more faithful way, a more mature way; a way that has truly been beyond me.

Hebrews 5:11 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. 12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

In the past I have often let things consume me: the pursuit of my career and my emotions. I got to a point where my Christianity was on auto pilot. I relied on my morality and what I knew was right most of the time instead of really pausing to listen and allow God to move. What this exposed was that whatever I worship I will obey, and I was not worshiping Him in many situations. I was catering to my selfishness and in my self-righteousness didn't even see it.

Lamentations 3:22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

1 John 2:15-16 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the craving of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world.

Lysa TerKeurst provided me with a bit more insight into this scripture through her book, “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.” She broke the worldly desires down in the following three ways. The first, the craving of sinful man as our preoccupation with gratifying our physical desires. The second, the lust of his eye as the craving and accumulation of things; bowing down to the god of materialism; psychological need. Lastly, the boasting of what he has and does as the obsession of one’s status or importance; emotional need. This really helped me to see that for so long I really was, more often than not, trying to meet my own physical, emotional and psychological needs as I saw them. I was not obeying God and I did not trust Him. I was not striving to see what He saw and allowed my voice to drown out His.

Ish 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”

The more I have sought to obey Him and to really allow Him to guide me, the more I have been blown away. He has walked me into situations and conversations that I would never have walked into by choice and that were completely beyond me. As a result, I could do nothing else but rely on Him through them. He put people on my heart I had not thought of in years and led me to pick up the phone and call them to apologize and share the lessons He has been teaching me over the past few months. I thought it would be scary or even painful to have to humbly approach these situations and own up to my past behavior that did not reaffirm God’s presence in my life. Instead God moved and others faith was built up. The response was astounding. I was not expecting much walking in to many of these conversations. Yet, God allowed me to see and experience so much more of His mercy. He allowed me to experience Him. I was lighter, freer and the more I experienced God the more I trusted Him and relied on Him.

Hebrews 5:14 who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

I may not have heard God’s physical voice but I did ask myself if the direction I was being guided in lined up with scripture; if it was consistent with God’s character; if it was being confirmed through messages I was hearing at church and the things I was studying out in my quiet times; if it was beyond me and ultimately if it pleased Him. When the answer to all of these questions was a resounding Yes, I could do nothing else but act on it.

I know that God will do more guiding into places I do not want to go but He has consistently shown me that He is able to forgive me, remind me, challenge me, and show me how to weather trials in ways that prove His Spirit resides in me. Jesus is the ultimate teacher. He wants to teach me but He won't force me. I must make a decision every day to allow Him to teach me. The only way to do so is to obey even when I don’t understand it.

Ish 26:3 You [God] will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

"'Christ in You...'" from Dale Krebbs

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