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I love people dearly but I’m not always great at communicating my love. Concern tends to come out as criticism; my own fears sometimes prevent me from expressing affection and well, I think you get the picture. However, I have these rare moments when I open my mouth and God speaks. I know it’s him because the words come from a deep-rooted place and are beyond what I could think to speak. In these rare moments I listen and am in awe of the ability of a creator that uses each of us. To love the way Jesus loved people is uncomfortable and takes great courage. In those moments when the opportunity presents itself to do more, care more, pause and give more, I literally pause. Internally this pause feels like I’m taking a deep breath right before jumping into the deep end of a pool. And then it happens, down below the surface of the water I let go, exhale and breathe in. See, you cannot inhale and speak at the same time. When I risk loving the way Jesus did, it’s kind of like breathing under water. It’s a step forward, away from who I was and towards who I want to be.

Ish 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Sometimes while God is making the way I am busy setting up roadblocks. It takes an act of obedience to look forward and not dwell on the past. This doesn’t only apply to past events but past wants as well. If I want God to transform my heart to desire the things that are in line with his character I have to be willing to see a different perspective than the one that makes most sense to me. I must really listen in order to hear what he is trying to tell me, to hear where he is trying to lead me. Too often I speak and ask but don’t pause to listen.

James 1:19 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry

In the past I always related James1:19 to my interactions with other people but as I read it recently I was impacted by how this directive looks in my relationship with God. I talk a lot more than I listen and when I feel convicted by him I am even quicker to want to defend my actions and/or thoughts. When I find myself in a place I don’t want to be or falling into a pattern of thinking that I thought I had outgrown, I can get frustrated and angry. It exposes my weakness, my pride. It doesn’t feel good to have sin exposed. My anger is defensive. In those moments it takes great courage and strength to listen and not speak and to not give into or act out of my frustration.

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

God calls me to be a doer not just a hearer. I can feel a lot of things when I am faced with truth but at the end of the day it’s my actions that will count. We have to be ware of moments when the task at hand can seem so urgent that we get tunnel vision and overlook those around us, not taking the time to listen for what God is saying. If I'm not listening to his direction I cannot act on it. When I do what the word says I let it define me instead of defining it for myself. So lately I am taking a lot of deep breaths under water in obedience. Every time I do, there is less of me and more of God and instead of building roadblocks I am able to build new things. I recognize that the road blocks also block me from moving forward. Instead I can chose to build and do for others with a sense of freedom. There are still moments of hesitation, moments where I cling to my dreams and fear what God will exchange them out for but in those moments I have to remember that his track record is a lot better than mine. If it was always easy it would not be worth it. It takes perseverance.

James 1:25 But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does.

"God's Words For US" from Cecelia Lester

Renew a Right Spirit