Subscription Lists

Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Cardboard Giants
Date Posted: March 15, 2011

I recently asked myself, “Whose time and attention am I vying for most?” I am this imperfect, fragile, broken person who so often finds herself wanting acceptance, approval, or love from other imperfect, fragile, broken people. I do this while the creator of the universe longs for me to find acceptance, healing and restoration in him. As I look around I see it everywhere: wives looking for it in their husbands, mothers looking for it in their kids, singles looking for it in relationships, employees looking for it from employers. We crave companionship, acceptance and status and we look for it to define our self worth when there is a greater power who has already defined our worth. We are created for God, by God. Yet, we forget and turn away from perfection to the imperfect.

In my humanistic mind I can easily rely on my sight over my faith. If I can’t envision a solution to a problem or a desired future outcome it is a lot easier for me to slip into doubt instead of throwing myself into faith. Yet, the reality of God, as recorded in the Bible, is not the reality of this world; it is greater. Every time I look into the scriptures I am reminded of this. I am brought to my knees in prayer because of this. The majority of the people in the bible also relied on sight and easily forgot the very great promises God spoke to them and to generations of people before them. They did not lose God’s attention, but He lost theirs. Despite this, there was always someone who was close enough to God to speak the reality of God back to them. God constantly used individuals and situations to get their attention back in an attempt to display his love, protection and power.

Numbers 13:27-32 27 "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! 28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. 30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." 31But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are." 32And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored.”

When God finally brought the Israelites to the promise land, Moses sent some people to survey it. They had arrived and could acknowledge that it was in fact the land that they were waiting for, “flowing with milk and honey.” Yet, the very next words out of their mouths were words of fear and not of faith. They could not see past the size of the people to the size of their God and they easily forgot the promises spoken as far back as the time of Noah of Canaan’s line being cursed (Genesis 9:25-27) and the promise of Canaan’s land being handed to them. Only Caleb and Joshua saw and remembered and only Caleb and Joshua saw the promise land in the end.

I had to stop and think about what the main difference was between the people who saw only the obstacles versus those who saw God’s promise. When I see God for who he really is there is nothing I am not capable of doing, overcoming, accomplishing or giving. However, in order to truly see him I must be willing to be uncomfortable, to face the unknown, to trust (sometimes blindly and with limited understanding) in his word over what I feel or think. Over the past few months God has rocked my world and challenged things in my character and personality that simply made me shutter. He challenged my thinking and started to shake loose the things I held on to preventing me from grabbing on to him. I wanted to run and hide and point to the giants that I could not overcome and to their power over me.

When I do not see God, the very situations he sets up to reveal himself and his greatness are the ones I use to rob him of his glory, and me, of the blessings beyond the situation. As I read through account after account, as the one above in Numbers, I could not help but be humbled and simply act in obedience to his scriptures. I made the decision to trust that the insight that was being revealed had a greater purpose than the pain it was momentarily causing.

In Numbers, God set the situation up so that the people could be in awe and there would be no way anyone could doubt that it was Him who provided for them. He was doing the same for me. When I focus on what I see, or don’t see, I lose sight of the God that is beyond my circumstances and me. I want to protect myself from possible pain or discomfort just like the people in Numbers wanted to protect themselves. I was reminded of this again in the story of David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17). Goliath was frightening, and to the naked eye, a force beyond small David. Yet David ran fearlessly toward him because of his intimate knowledge of God.

1 Samuel 17:48 As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.

We are faced daily with choices and scenarios that set the stage for an opportunity for us to see the living God or to get caught up in the cardboard stage props. The props may look big but their only cardboard in God's bigger play. In obedience I walked through my pain and charged against my discomfort to come out on the other side in the presence of God. It cost me pride and exchanging a desire to be right for a desire to know Him and see his truth over my comfort. It allowed him to use me to help someone else come to know him. It changed whose attention I was vying for and freed me from the pressure that comes from looking for security in the imperfect. We are created for God, by God. Living faith can take us to a battle field but in the end the one fighting for us is unimaginably more powerful than anything before us.

Was this article helpful?
Rate it:

"Bible verse and quote" from Jan Couns

Bible and Quote - March 10-14

Read Article »
Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
Got Something to Share?
LiveAsIf.org is always looking for new writers. Whether it is a daily devotional or a weekly article, if you desire to encourage others to know Him better, then signup to become a contributor.