Subscription Lists
Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Lately I found myself casually dating. The difference between casually dating and a serious relationship, I think, boils down to a level of commitment. In my journey of coming to know and commit to God I went through a phase of casually dating Jesus; in the form of occasionally studying the bible, to committing to a more serious relationship; through deepening my personal walk with God as I was taught to understand what walking with him really meant as well as learned more about his love for me, to finally taking the plunge into marriage; represented by baptism. My motivation for increasing my level of commitment was my love for God through getting to know who Jesus was. The more I got to know Jesus as a tangible man the less I saw him as a vehicle to my happiness and contentment and the more I saw that He in fact was my happiness. When I made a commitment to experience Jesus our relationship was solid and even though it still required work, because of the motivation being love, it didn’t really feel like work.
In marriage I learned to allow God’s love to stabilize me. No matter what was happening around me. I believed with every fiber of my being, unquestionably that He would take care of ‘it’, no matter what ‘it’ was because Jesus took shape in my life every day. Through seeing Jesus’ example I was able to experience God in my life and trust Him. That was then.
1 John 1:1-2 (Message) 1 From the very first day, we were there, taking it all in--we heard it with our own ears, saw it with our own eyes, verified it with our own hands. 2 The Word of Life appeared right before our eyes; we saw it happen! And now we're telling you in most sober prose that what we witnessed was, incredibly, this: The infinite Life of God himself took shape before us.
I’ve recently picked up a book called, Falling in Love With God Again. I picked this book up not because I have fallen out of love with God but because I felt like I reached a point in my walk with God where I was no longer excited about it. My relationship had become a religious routine. I stopped realizing new things about God and just kept mulling over old things. As a result when I began to go through yet another transition in my life I found myself ‘casually’ dating Jesus again. The relationship was so much work. My commitment had become more of an external one than an internal personal one. I was grasping for stability, which I desire so much at this point in my life, in all the wrong places.
I have felt exposed and shaky because I do not know what my future holds. I began to compare myself to others instead of enjoying and being grateful for opportunities uniquely afforded just to me. If I’m not realizing new things about God’s character and heart I will stop feeling what would be natural to feel. The passion and love that is evident to all those who get to know Him.
John7:46 (NIV) We’ve never heard anyone speak like this man.
So when I find myself at a crossroads in life, that place where some ridiculous number of roads intersect, only to find that it’s been flooded beyond recognition, I’m stuck not knowing which way to go. I’m stuck for an unforeseeable time waiting on God to dry up the flood waters and make the way clear. Except that even when the road is de-flooded their will still be multiple paths to choose from. So as I’ve been inching ahead, through the waters up to my armpits, looking for stability and clarity I have had to stop looking in all the wrong places.
I have to continually remind myself that I’m not in this alone. I may not have ‘stability’ as I would like it to materialize in my life but I have a relationship with the creator of the Universe and I mean this in the most unreligious way possible. It is not a relationship of religious traditions and acts and it’s not a repetition of what I know from the past. It is a real, tangible relationship with a man who is constantly revealing new parts of Himself to me.
My feelings only change when I realize something new. My commitment is restored along with my perspective of a deeper faith when I fight for that real committed relationship instead of just casually dating while holding out for something better to provide me with security. How ridiculous is that? Seriously? If God, the creator of this Universe can’t satisfy me than absolutely nothing ever will. Not only that but with that attitude I will also most likely suck the life out of anything that He puts in my path for my happiness or simply miss it completely.
Yet, when He is my happiness and stability all else is just a little simpler to bear and I have a bit more patience while I wait for the road to dry up so I can choose which way to go, with Him by my side. He loves me sopping wet to arm pits and all.
Colossians 1:16 (Message) For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels--everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.
Rate it:
Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
Receive the newest devotional each week in your inbox by joining the "Quiet Time" subscription list. Enter your email address below, click "Go!" and we will send you a confirmation email. Follow the instructions in the email to confirm your addition to this list.