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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Choosing My Habits Away
Date Posted: October 20, 2009

There are things I struggle with ever day. In each day I am faced with decisions to respond in a given way to a given situation. Sometimes the time frame for the decision seems to be only a split-second-window-of-opportunity to react. At other times I can contemplate my response for hours and still make the wrong choice. Whatever the case, I am left to choose how I will react. No one else chooses for me. I make the choices. This puts a lot of pressure on me, but it’s good pressure - to be accountable to God and myself. When I made poor choices I reaped what I sowed and I had no one to blame but myself.

2 Corinthians 9:6 (NIV) Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

If I invest in my spiritual well-being, deliberately focusing on specific areas of my character through seeking insight from both wise people and God’s word, I reap both insight and strength to make wise choices. However, if I chose my own ways hastily I reap bad habits. And habits are incredibly hard to break!

Joshua 24:15 (NIV) But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

I can fervently state that I chose the Lord. However, as Ralph Waldo Emerson once put it, “What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” Therefore, I may desire to serve God with all my heart but if I don’t prove it through my daily choices it won’t mean a thing because at the end of the day people will remember my actions more than my words. God looks at the life I live based on the choices I make. My actions can give power to my words and prove me a woman of character or they can deflate them and prove me a hypocrite. Don’t get me wrong, I will make mistakes but the question becomes will I learn from them and do everything in my power not to repeat them. Will I replace my bad habits with good ones? Sometimes, I just don’t think I can. This week I had a small victory and I saw that I could, when my focus was in the right place.

Romans 8:5 (NIV) Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

I have to ask myself, “What am I sowing?” Am I making choices based on a whim or my emotions at a given time? If so I will not only hurt myself but the people around me. If I think about all the things I need to change too much I get overwhelmed, but when I take it one day at a time it makes these decisions a bit more manageable. When trying to tackle bad habits I don’t need to over-think or over-analyze, I just need to focus on the moment and that moment’s consequences. If I just focus on the day ahead (my tone when I address people today, what I watch on t.v. tonight, reading my bible today) the goals don’t seem so huge and overwhelming. As Steve Kinnard once wrote, “If I take care of the days, then the years will take care of themselves.”

It’s a journey. I have been on this Christian journey for 12 years now. As cliche as it may sound, when I look back it seems like the time just flew. When I think about the times I was really at my best, they were times that I made the most of each day. Looking back I don’t remember every day but the days that stand out are those in which I made it through the trying times. I can not chose my past and I don’t know my future but I can chose this day, knowing that the right choices will keep me faithful for another 12 years and some. Some choices will be easier than others but if I make enough of the right ones they will become habits and habits are hard to break.

2 Corinthians 13:5-9 (NLT) 5Examine yourselves to see if your faith is really genuine. Test yourselves. If you cannot tell that Jesus Christ is among you, F40 it means you have failed the test. 6I hope you recognize that we have passed the test and are approved by God. 7We pray to God that you will not do anything wrong. We pray this, not to show that our ministry to you has been successful, but because we want you to do right even if we ourselves seem to have failed. 8Our responsibility is never to oppose the truth, but to stand for the truth at all times. 9We are glad to be weak, if you are really strong. What we pray for is your restoration to maturity.

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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