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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
As I have traveled for work into areas that are considered less safe than the norm, I have found myself comfortable in certain situations over the past few weeks in which I normally wouldn’t have been comfortable. While walking down a dirt road one sunny afternoon I started to think, “Hmm, that’s funny. The last time I was here and on this road I was a lot more alert and on guard.” It struck me how I can get a false sense of security simply because something has become familiar.
One thing I discovered working under such extreme conditions is that it can have a very drastic effect on the human condition as well. I have met many people in my field of work who are brilliant and beautiful and doing incredible humanitarian work and yet, making some seriously destructive personal decisions. I have watched and listened and at times been at a loss because I just did not understand how they could not see in the mirror what I saw in them, but then I had to pause. How many times had I not seen what God was so desperately trying to show me, when I had not seen what was in the mirror?
There is a verse that speaks to this effect when Paul talks about people whose hearts have been hardened and who are separated from God.
Eph4:19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
When I read this recently it really struck me – I have seen this, this very state of mind and being. It takes time to get into and even once in this state, one can be completely unaware of it.
“If you put a frog in cold water and gradually increase the heat it will eventually slowly boil to death, but if you throw it into hot water it will jump out.” I have no idea where this saying comes from but when a friend repeated it to me it resonated.
Losing sensitivity can look a whole lot like becoming comfortable. Now don’t get me wrong- I’m not trying to make some huge jump here from happy go-lucky do-gooder to out of control addict. My point is simply that losing sensitivity really takes time, but the result is still a whole lot of hurt and pain. The irony is that as I look at the people around me who are hurting and living Eph4:19, and I remember that I myself was there just about a year ago. I too found myself in a dark place in my life. The water had gotten hot and I was boiling and you know what, it is a lot harder to get out of the comfort of a hot tub than it is to pull your toe out when you’ve stuck it in hot water.
Eph3:16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, […]that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
This has been my prayer for others as well as myself. Although this time around I am in a lot better place than I was last year, I still have my moments of staying in the ‘tub’ too long, letting my negative thinking or unhealthy desires pull me in and down. I know that I can get to comfortable when I begin to look to myself too much, whether it’s reflecting too long on negative things or trying to fix things or people on my own strength.
When I was traveling recently, the level of danger in my surroundings had not decreased- only my perception of it had been dulled through familiarity. In the same way, when I chose to rely on my own strength it is not because I have any more strength or wisdom of my own, but mostly because I have the false perception that I’m in control and can handle things on my own without relying on God. So when I feel like I can handle things on my own or think that I am in a much better place than I was before, I have to remind myself who it is that has really restored me to a better state, who it is that continues to love me and those around me even when we have trouble loving ourselves. I am learning to recognize when the water is getting too hot for comfort.
Eph2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.
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Read Article »Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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