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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Conviction has a double edged sword definition; on the one hand it is the state of being convinced (convinced: to bring by the use of argument or evidence to firm belief or a course of action, full assurance). On the other hand it is judgment or proof of guilt. As Christians we can so flippantly use this term claiming to have ‘convictions’. I have recently found there is real value in testing what my true convictions are versus something I believe, but do not necessarily hold to. One example of this is the belief that God loves all of us. There are many people who believe this to be true, but their actions do not show they are convinced of this love. While I certainly believe this to be true, it is also my personal conviction.
My conviction is based on the many ways that God has shown me that he loves me. For example when I struggle with trusting him with my future and trusting in his timing, he still totally encourages me through small every day miracles to comfort me and reassure me in my distrust. I have claimed God’s love for me as my ‘conviction’ so many times, but then have done things that show my doubt in His love and grace. I'm still trying to fully understand this conviction and pass it on to others. I believe that if we truly grasp God’s love for us we will be able to be ourselves, overcome insecurities, and never leave God no matter how hard life gets. I thought I would share some of my findings with you to encourage you in God’s Love.
Ro 14:22 - The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.
1Th 1:5 - for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction; just as you know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.
Heb 11:1 - Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
According to the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia in the King James Version "convince" is sometimes changed into "reprove" as in 1 Corinthians 14:24. It is a decision presumed to be based upon a careful and discriminating consideration of all the proofs offered. Our proof of His love for us is Jesus on the cross, his grace every time we turn our backs on him and rebel.
When I first became a Christian, there were many biblical principles I believed in and hence claimed were my convictions. Beliefs stemming from small tasks such as reading my bible daily in order to stay close to God, to large concepts like trusting him with my future because I was assured that He loved me. I see know how naive it was of me to think that belief and conviction are interchangeable. I found that only as my walk continued did I truly dig deep and consider the proofs offered in the scriptures to establish deep rooted convictions about the things I first believed. Often, it was when I fell in many of the areas I claimed to have conviction in that I saw I was not as convinced as I thought I was, I merely believed.(John8:31-32) I continue to have to return to the proofs and check myself every time I claim to have a conviction about something. Am I holding to the teachings? To physically hold onto to something can take a ridiculous amount of effort. If I have to exert so much energy and struggle to hold onto something in the physical sense, why would I ever think differently about something I need to hold onto spiritually? Is my life walk exemplifying that this (whatever this is) is my conviction? Sometimes, the answer is no and the battle begins anew.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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