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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Patience has never been one of my virtues. No matter how hard I try it always seems to get the best of me. I don't think I ever truly understood the depth or the consequences of impatience. I know that I tend to be impatient because sometimes I lack faith in God, but for the longest time I believed that I was only impatient and anxious about certain things. Recently I have been seeing how impatience affects many aspects of my life.
On the one hand my impatience seems good because it drives me to be motivated and work hard. My hunger for results drives me to complete projects quickly. However, the other side of this coin is that I can overlook important details as well as people in my rush to get things done. To be driven is one thing, but to plow over details and people is another. I am sorry to say that I have often crossed the line between driving and plowing.
I sincerely believe in the women I work with and I am so grateful for their insightful, bright approaches to every task they attempt. Yet, regardless of my esteem for them, when I want to speed up a project I can completely overlook their feelings while I push them forward. Instead of focusing on the good things they have done, I defer to criticism, critical comments and negative motivation. My mind is solely on completing the task at hand. Being impatient and insensitive has often left my staff discouraged and at times even feeling as though there is nothing they can do right.
My impatience doesn't bring glory to God. Instead it discourages my co-workers and minimizes God. A scripture that has helped me fight my impatience is:
1Thessalonians 5:13-15(the message) 13Overwhelm them with appreciation and love! Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. 14Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. 15And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.
This scripture has helped me realize that if I really desire to love others the way God loves me I need to extend them the grace that God extends me. There is a time, place, and tone for every occasion and situation. I have to do my part and continualy use disernment as each situation calls for it. If I concider others before myself in each situation instead of focusing on the task and my agenda, I can get the neccessary work done and impact someone for God. Patience is a fruit of trusting God and applying his wisdom in my life. This can be ridiculously hard when people are not following your instructions and there is a lot at stake, thats when I just want to take matters into my own hands, and thats when trusting needs to kick in. To show God that I trust I must be patinet by takeing my foot off the gass and instead of plowing over the people in my way pull them on board.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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