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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I desire recognition for my ‘hard’ work. It’s interesting to me, how as human beings we want our accomplishments to be recognized, we work for acknowledgment. Yet, as Christians we strive to be content and accept that we will never be able to earn the grace and gift of salvation which God has freely given us.
In my career I work to earn promotions and rewards. I even work in relationships to earn my friends trust as they work to earn mine. Still God says I cannot earn his favor, it is granted to me freely and He only desires that I trust Him. The Bible tells us there is nothing we can do to earn God's love.
I recently left a job I was with for a year. I had worked hard, my work ethic was impeccable. I left with a great deal of experience, but due to my boss' bitterness with my choice to leave, I also left with no reference. It was hard to accept that my only recognition at this point in my career was coming from God alone. I found myself fighting bitterness. My true heart was revealed.
It’s very illuminating to see how little I can trust God and how ungrateful I can be. It was a very sobering wake up call that revealed where I was really getting my confidence from and what I was desiring in my heart- the things of this world.
1John2:15-17 (The Message) 15 Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. 16 Practically everything that goes on in the world--wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important--has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. 17 The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out--but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.
James4:4 (The Message) You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way.
My initial reaction to this situation was to ask God why He would allow such an unfair thing to happen? All I thought I wanted was to advance in my career and grow. Now I see how my motivation had shifted and drawn me away from Him.
Life is growing in our trust in God. Growing pains...gotta love them. I am glad I was able to see how easily my attention and heart was divided. I’m grateful for God's grace, which I cannot earn because I definitely do not deserve it. Yet, despite my undeservingness He blesses me with a consistent income, new job opportunities and a right perspective. He is first in my life. The increased trust thing, I’m still working on.
Psalm 119:1-12 (The Message) You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by GOD. 2You're blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. 3That's right--you don't go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set. 4You, GOD, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. 5Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; 6Then I'd never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel. 7I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. 8I'm going to do what you tell me to do; don't ever walk off and leave me. 9How can a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of your Word. 10I'm single-minded in pursuit of you; don't let me miss the road signs you've posted. 11I've banked your promises in the vault of my heart so I won't sin myself bankrupt. 12Be blessed, GOD; train me in your ways of wise living.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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