Subscription Lists

Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Fighting the Scary Thoughts
Date Posted: November 3, 2009

My thinking can be really off sometimes. I have these days where I am literally fighting my own thoughts. I have to train my mind to think spiritually. This statement looks so simple and to the point on paper but in practice it is ridiculously hard! I’ve been praying very specific and bold prayers over the past few months. I prayed through major fear and eeked out the words, but recently I began to get discouraged as I did not see anything happening. I began to rely on self as the urge to take control was overwhelming. Sometimes thoughts cannot be controlled, but what influences my thinking can. What I put in my mind, the things I take in and chose to absorb will permeate my thoughts.

Galatians 6:7-9 (NLT) 7 Don't be misled. Remember that you can't ignore God and get away with it. You will always reap what you sow! 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences of decay and death. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9 So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.

If I set my mind on God, the things that are pleasing to him (his promises) then I am able to think spiritually. It is then that he teaches me how to change, how to grow, how to mature and how to let go. When my thinking is spiritual I am able to face my fears faithfully.

2 Peter 1:3-11 (NIV) His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

To think spiritually means to think counter culturally. It is not natural. I have to train myself to do it. It is not easy, but it’s worth it because it leads to change. I do so desperately want to change. One way that I saw this was through a clearer understanding of biblical suffering. Often times when I feel like I am undergoing some type of trial I can instinctively want to take control if the situation does not change quickly enough. My thoughts become anxious and rash, leading to self-reliant actions. When I recognize that God is always there, continually calling me to not be afraid, I can endure through hard times even if those times last longer than I would like them to. The drama queen I can be, a minute can feel like 24 hours if I am in the wrong frame of mind.

Genesis 15:1 (NIV) After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."

After attending a recent class on not being afraid and recognizing that God is always present I looked up all the scriptures that had the phrase “do not be afraid”. There were so many verses in which God repeatedly commanded people to not be afraid and then reassured them he was with them. As I looked at those he spoke to in context I realized these people suffered so much more than I could ever imagine. Not only that, but they suffered for years and still remained faithful! I get huffy and frantic if I don’t see something happening within a week. They were able to do this because they knew who God was. As I looked at the account of Joseph (Genesis 37-45) I was faced with this concept again. Joseph suffered for years and multiple times.

Gen40:14 (NIV) But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison.

Some times, like Joseph, I can try to make things happen on my own and it gets me no-where or worse it just gets me in trouble!

Genesis 41:1 (NIV) When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream […]9 Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, "Today I am reminded of my shortcomings.[…] 46 Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh's presence and traveled throughout Egypt.

It took two years for the cupbearer Joseph helped to remember him. Joseph was 17 when he was sold into slavery by his brothers and 30 when he entered into Pharaoh’s service. As many times as I had read this story it resonated all the more with me this time, as my thirties are quickly approaching. I have many battles ahead of me but I have a choice to make. I need to decide if I will let them mature my faith and bring me to a place where I can handle the blessings God wants to give me or I can give into carnal thinking and lose out on the ultimate reward. I am convinced of this because a few days ago I prayed a very specific prayer and when God answered it I responded in fear. I was terrified to receive the blessing He was trying to give me and instead questioned it. It only dawned on me when I changed my thinking.

The reward is not getting what I want, it is being like Jesus. I do need to continue to pray boldly even when I don’t hear or see an answer right away because ultimately I must surrender my will to God. When I get Jesus I get everything. There is nothing that is being withheld from me. It is I who withhold my heart from God when I doubt. I have to make a decision every day to reinforce my spiritual thinking by focusing on His word.

2 Timothy 4:8 (Message) All that's left now is the shouting--God's applause! Depend on it, he's an honest judge. He'll do right not only by me, but by everyone eager for his coming.

Was this article helpful?
Rate it:

"God's Words For US" from Cecelia Lester

Grace

Read Article »
Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
Got Something to Share?
LiveAsIf.org is always looking for new writers. Whether it is a daily devotional or a weekly article, if you desire to encourage others to know Him better, then signup to become a contributor.