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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Forget Me Not
Date Posted: April 11, 2006

I can feel hurt when people forget about me or forget things that are important to me. A few weeks back a close friend of mine planed a surprise birthday dinner for me.  She planed it to take place a few days after my actual birthday resulting in people not calling me on the day of.  I was so hurt and felt completely forgotten. I'm not one of those people who keeps things like this to myself, I dropped plenty of subtle hints weeks in advance just in case.  I have this weird fear of being forgotten that no doubt somehow connects to my childhood, but I digress. Recently, I have been studying out Hope.  At this point in time my study on this subject has brought me to one specific character: Joseph.   

Know at first I was hesitant in reading Joseph's story again. I thought this was one of those story's one could recite from memory, but I went back to it anyway as I knew I needed to gain perspective through Joseph's eyes.  And boy did I! It seemed as though everything this man did ended him up in screwy situations and each time he got the short end of the stick, so to speak. Yet, the bible says that "God was with him" and how God blessed him in all he did!  

Gen39:3 His master recognized that GOD was with him, saw that GOD was working for good in everything he did. 20Joseph's master took him and threw him into the jail where the king's prisoners were locked up. But there in jail 21GOD was still with Joseph: He reached out in kindness to him; he put him on good terms with the head jailer. 22The head jailer put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners--he ended up managing the whole operation. 23The head jailer gave Joseph free rein, never even checked on him, because GOD was with him; whatever he did GOD made sure it worked out for the best.  

I thought, "are you serious!?" Especially when I got to the part of Joseph being in jail and helping out two of the kings men by interpreting their dream and all he asked was that they remember him when things worked out as he promised them.  

Gen40:14 Only remember me when things are going well with you again--tell Pharaoh about me and get me out of this place. 15I was kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews. And since I've been here, I've done nothing to deserve being put in this hole. 23But the head cupbearer never gave Joseph another thought; he forgot all about him.  

Gen41:1 Two years passed and Pharaoh had a dream. Gen41:9 The head cupbearer then spoke up and said to Pharaoh, "I just now remembered something--I'm sorry, I should have told you this long ago." 15"I dreamed a dream," Pharaoh told Joseph. "Nobody can interpret it. But I've heard that just by hearing a dream you can interpret it." 16Joseph answered, "Not I, but God. God will set Pharaoh's mind at ease."  

THEY FORGOT ABOUT HIM. FOR TWO YEARS!!! Tow years. That's 1 year, 11 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days too long for me! After day one I would have come to the conclusion that I had been forgotten, after week one I would have cried and gotten mad and completely wrote the cupbearer off and wished the baker dead if he was not dead already, and after a month I would have moved on to hoping for a new plan and definitely had some choice words with God. Its like fazes; Faze 1- feeling hurt and sad; Faze 2- feeling angry; Faze 3- feelings of indifference and numbness set in. I definitely would not have made it into the bible if I was around in Joseph’s time.  

Yet, two years later Joseph still gave God the glory and for two years he continued to do right and hope.  I'm sure he wrestled and had nights where he couldn't sleep. I imagine him questioning what might have happened, running the seen over in his mind a million times, feeling punished as though maybe he had done wrong for asking for something in return at all, and wondered if he had been right in his interpretation.  At least that's what I would have done.   

Joseph's actions and circumstances reminded me of a quote I had been meditating on: Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.- Epicurus (341-270 BC)  

I can so easily forget all the amazing blessings God has done in my life.  Joseph knew how to focus on those very blessings in all circumstances and he knew God was in control, he didn't wish for God to be in control, he was certain despite of what he saw when he looked around him.  That's what I want! I want to be that content and focus on the good that's present right know. Slowly but surely I'm working on it. In my job, in my friendships, and in my personal life because honestly, there is no other option- God is in control and I am so not!

 

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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