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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I am a glory thief. As I read through the book of Genesis and the creation story this point resounds in my head. Over the past few weeks I have become more aware of the ways in which I try to claim for myself those characteristics of God that are his and his alone. Yes, there are characteristics of God that we are called to imitate, the communicable attributes that he shares with us: love, kindness, compassion, etc. However, there are characteristics of God (incommunicable attributes) that are only his and I will never be able to attain them. These characteristics are laid out in Genesis 1: God is the creator, independent; unchangeable; eternal, not bound by time; all knowing; and, all powerful (also see Is 42:5, Is 43).
I can so easily lose sight of his power and get caught up in claiming glory for myself. I try to be self-sufficient, independent, all knowing and in my own way, seek power in the form of control. Revisiting Genesis has reminded me of God’s incommunicable attributes and shed light on a lot of my glory thieving behavior.
Only God is self-sufficient. I am needy. No matter how much I hate to admit that, it is the truth. According to God we are all needy. We need him and he does not need us.
So, recognizing that self-sufficiency is not an option, I can quickly resort to wanting the role of the one who is depended on. I want others to see me in a certain light. Usually, a spot light. When I get caught up in this way of thinking, I want control and try to claim glory to gain stature among man. I focus in my deeds over God's works. This desire shows itself in little remarks like, “I was the first in my family to do x.” Or, “I did, said, or helped y.” Or how about this one, “I’m so glad x is doing better with that because when we first talked about it x was a mess; I’m glad I was able to help.”
When I lose perspective and start believing that I can attain God’s incommunicable attributes, I can make Christianity about me. I try to take away God’s glory when I refuse to acknowledge his power at work changing someone’s heart and instead act as if I am the source of the change. I can want to prevent a dear friend from experiencing pain so much that I want them to listen to my advice over trusting God’s Spirit and word to speak guidance into their life. I saw myself slip into this behavior in a few ways this week. When faced with an opportunity to serve, instead of asking how and being open to whatever the role might be, I jumped the gun and tried to make myself look good in order to serve the way I would want to. In the moment those were not my intentions but my heart was exposed later.
I am not all knowing. I am not designed to have all knowledge. God is all knowing. He knows everything because he created everything and is the source of everything. I am limited in my knowledge and should act accordingly. Yet too often I see myself as wise in my own eyes and although I may only have a piece of the puzzle I can quickly assume that I am seeing the full picture. This only gets me into trouble as I can assume how someone feels or what their motives are for doing something. I can assume what someone needs and try to fill it with what I think is best. We all do this to an extent. We don’t account or even try to account for all the variables. We don’t ask as many questions as we should before drawing conclusions. We don’t pray before offering up advice or feedback or do so based on our emotions and feelings versus God’s word. If a situation we are faced with has an air of familiarity there is a tendency to react or act in a way we think is best and makes the most sense even if the participants and context have changed. There is a tendency for me to rely on my knowledge and logic instead of seeking God’s wisdom. Too often I am ready to shout where God only whispers.
God created the universe to display his glory and is infinitely glorious (also see Ps119).
Genesis 1:1-2a (NIV) “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty…”
As I stood in awe of God all over again, stood in awe of his creation and power, I saw that he brings form and fullness. He formed something out of nothing and then brought about fullness. He created the world and filled it. It invokes a desire in me to be so much more humble, to listen so much more intently and respect his creation. It causes my perspective to shift so that I desire God’s wisdom for others over my own and his way for me instead of mine.
When I borrow something that belongs to someone else I tend to treat it with a lot more care, especially if it’s expensive. So it is with God’s creation. It matters that we know the owner and it should change the way we treat his creation. The creation story in Genesis shows us our origins but there is a parallel origin that convicts and inspires me even more. God makes it personal.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Just as God created in the beginning, he creates anew. When there was nothing righteous in me, he spoke and there was something in me. He shone light into me and set me apart.
2 Corinthians 4:6 (NIV) For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” (see also Rm15:4, Ps27:1, Psalm 97:11)
God brought form and fullness in me in the same way he brought it about in the beginning of creation. The God who created the Universe creates us anew. This can bring great comfort and peace into my life. More importantly it reminds me that He is at the center of it all and not me. David Platt put it best when he wrote,
“ ‘God loves me’ is not the essence of biblical Christianity. Because if ‘God loves me’ is the message of Christianity, then who is the object of Christianity? [..] Me. The message of biblical Christianity is ‘God loves me so that I might make him – his ways, his salvation, his glory, and his greatness – known among all nations. God is the object of our faith, and Christianity centers around him.”
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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