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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Growing Pains
Date Posted: October 6, 2009

I learned a new word recently. The word is hedonistic. It refers to people who are pleasure seekers and pain avoiders. I thought about all the little ways I can be hedonistic and how this correlates in my walk with God. There have been times in my life where I have sought out pleasure specifically to avoid pain. Most commonly this exhibits itself in the form of a pint of chocolate ice cream and a chick flick, but not always. Sometimes it’s a bit more serious than that. There have been times when in seeking what I thought would bring me pleasure I have only brought more pain upon myself. One example of this is my pursuits at work. Specifically the type of work that would bring me pleasure over the type that was not pleasant, but may have been necessary at the time.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before the fall.

If I chose to live by God’s road map for my life instead of my own it should show in all aspects of my life: work, home, while away on a trip, with friends and when alone. As I reviewed this list I thought which of these is hardest for me. When I am alone came to mind immediately. I think sometimes it is easy to make the right decision when others are watching, but it’s the decisions I make when no one else is watching that can make all the difference. It is in those isolated moments that I can choose the hedonistic way or God’s way. The decisions I make in my heart will affect my outward actions down the road. It is the promises I make to God in secret and to myself that must precede making and keeping promises to others. If I wanted to truly succeed at my job from the beginning I should have been more responsible, helpful and a more contributing employee with completing the small tasks I did not want to do. To my shame, I was not. It took me a while to address the motives of my heart and swallow my pride and by then the damage had been done. The impression had been made and trust had been broken beyond repair. In my pride I missed a lot of lessons and have only recently been able to see what God was trying to teach me.

Proverbs 2:1-4 (NIV) 1My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, 3 and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

“The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. This type of change is true conversion. ”[1]

Luke 2:52 (NIV) And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

Like Jesus, I must strive to grow intellectually, physically, spiritually and emotionally and seek God’s wisdom through my growing pains. As I mature in my walk with God I have learned that I also have to mature in all areas of my life. My conversion, the things I claim to believe, are tested all the more as I get older and enter new situations. The consequences of my actions also increase in weight. I have to take ownership of the actions that lead to painful consequences (Prov19:3). My Christianity is always going to be questioned by those around me. I can try to make outward changes on my own and fail or I can remember what my conversion was really about - a promise to God. My selfish ambitions for pleasure and fears of pain will sneak up on me but I have to go back to His promise for direction. I have to choose to grow through it. As I have changed inwardly it has lead me to greater and more successful outward changes. It has been the inward changes that have made all the difference and allowed me to hope for the future. God is a God of change and growth. The challenge is to choose to grow in all areas of my life.

Prov2:6-9 (NIV) 6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 7 He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, 8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. 9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair-every good path.

[1] Kinnard, Steve, Like A Tree Planted by Streams of Water, USA: Illumination Publishers International, 2009. Page 27.

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"'Christ in You...'" from Dale Krebbs

Special Calling

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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