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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Heart Over Routine
Date Posted: June 13, 2006

Heart over routine. That’s what I desire in my walk with God daily. I want my heart to be refined and be in what I do for God. I don’t want to simply follow a routine.  

When I first became a Christian I remember starting a prayer journal. In my prayer journal I would write out my prayers the way I thought they were supposed to sound. I knew this journal was for my eyes only and yet I still prayed very carefully, wanting to say the “right thing” to God and sound “spiritual”.  It took me a while to break out of this routine and just be real with God, to speak to him from a genuine heart whether that heart happened to be “spiritual” or not at the given time.

Is 29:13/ Matt 15:8 (the message) The Master said: "These people make a big show of saying the right thing, but their hearts aren't in it. Because they act like they're worshiping me but don't mean it,

Early on in my walk with God I learned that if I wanted to continue to walk with him I would have to pursue him and be very real with myself, him and those around me about my sinful nature, as well as plans to overcome it.

Gal 5:17 (the message) For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.

There are people who get up each morning at 6am and spend time with God in prayer and meditate on his word. There are people who have done this for years and some of them walk away from those daily times changed and refreshed, others walk away unchanged--just religious. Either way this is not me, I strongly believe in a daily walk with God, but my “routine” changes on a regular basis just like it would with a friend or a loved one. There are times where we spend hours together and times where it’s but a brief interaction. The time spent does not, however, define the depth or breadth of what I learn. Sometimes all it takes is that one verse to cut so deep that I can do nothing but meditate on it for the rest of the week and strive to change.

My studies in the Word and times with God can not be a task I check off of my to-do list – it’s not a Christian chore.  I have spoken with friends who have been Christians for many years and can still guilt themselves out for missing a day of study or feel “less spiritual” if they are not following a routine.  They feel guilty that their Christian walk is an up and down journey (as if it was a bad thing).  I say AMEN!

It is a journey and it is a battle – to be a fighter is something to be proud of.

I recently read about a concept that really helped me. There are moments when I feel like all I can do is tread water.  In these moments I should not panic but simply continue to tread water until my strength returns and I can float peacefully again.  Because of God’s grace I do not believe that there are some type of levels of Christianity- we are all unworthy, none of us are “earning” our salvation. Therefore whether you are in a position of leadership at a given moment or a struggling water treader, it doesn’t make a difference.  If you are fighting for your walk to be genuine and for your heart to be His- God sees it and rejoices. This concept has given me much peace and brought me many more “floating” moments this past year.   As I have transitioned ministries, my “roles” changed but my walk with God has remained consistent because of the very real battle for my heart to be His. Sometimes we have to make sure we are fighting the enemy and not ourselves. Let yourself be great. Allow yourself to succeed.   

Heb10:35-36 (the message)So don't throw it all away now. You were sure of yourselves then. It's still a sure thing! But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion.

Heb 10:39(the message) But we're not quitters who lose out. Oh, no! We'll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way.

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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