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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
The more I study out hope the more I am astounded at how the scriptures pry into my heart! It dawned on me a while ago that I base my hope more on sight than on faith. It was like a revelation! If faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of that which we do not see, I had to ask myself am I really sure of what I hope for? Is my hope based on the unseen? In the every day am I hopeful in accordance with how Hebrews defines hope? The answer was a very matter-of-fact no. When I am hopeless I tend towards impatience. In my life impatience is the direct result of my hopelessness. So when I read the following verses I am challenged by it, to say the least:
Lamentations 3:21-36 (the mssg) 21 But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: 22 God’s loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. 23 They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! 24 I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. 25 GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. 26 It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD. 27 It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. 28 When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. 29 Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. 30 Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. 31 Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. 32 If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. 33 He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: 34 Stomping down hard on luckless prisoners, 35 Refusing justice to victims in the court of High God, 36 Tampering with evidence-- the Master does not approve of such things. God Speaks Both Good Things and Hard Things into Being.
Firstly, to diligently seek implies that I can not rest or stop or waiver, it implies a consistency in behavior and this is very challenging as it demands patience.
To quietly hope, to me, implies not asking questions and trying to do things on my own, it implies a higher level of patience and hope that God will help in due time. I think one way this reveals itself in my life is when I study the Bible with people, and try to help others to come to faith. I often forget how patient God was with me for 17 years. How quickly I forget and can be impatient with others. I just want them to see and know and yet coming to faith takes time and cultivation. I definitely can not push someone through this process, all I can do is show them the word of God and be patient. I can hope for them in full assurance that they will know him and believe- just because I don’t see it right know doesn’t mean God is not working. This can also be true for those of us who have family members who are not Christians.
Sticking it through hard times (when I would rather run through them) to get to the other side again calls for patience. The root of the word means long suffering. Patience itself implies an uncomfortability, placing oneself in a situation that is not ideal and bearing through it, even suffering through it.
As I look back on my experiences growing up, there were definitely hard times, times when I desired things in my life, but God had other plans. When God’s answer to my prayers was no, or not now, those times were hard. When I didn’t get into the college of my choice, when the guy I liked did not like me back, when the woman I had studied the bible with and poured my heart, soul, and life into decided to walk away from God, those were hard times. Each of them cut so deeply, and now when I put these experiences in perspective I can see the benefit of hoping and bearing through them.
My friend Carmen helped me put it all in perspective when she said, “Jesus gave his very life. How much more can one give? And still, there are many that haven't responded to his sacrifice and love the way we have. How do you think Jesus feels? 'Forgive them Father, for they do not know of what they do.' Talk about grace, it’s mind boggling.” Her words cut me to the heart as I had become so impatient and hopeless that I lost this very perspective.
The perspective, “the “worst” is never the worst”. It’s funny because simultaneously I can think that a situation or moment is the worst possible thing and yet know that it is not. To be able to recognize this perspective and appreciate it, also takes patience. I don’t know about you, but for me, in a given moment “the worst” can seem like the end of the world emotionally. I can not see the positive, therefore I get hopeless, and in my faithlessness I can not muster up the patience to bring me through a given situation. Only if I am hopeful and patient can I trust in God’s character that is revealed in versus 33-36. Only then can I appreciate him speaking the good and the hard into being, as only then can I appreciate the hard as the necessary to build my faith and draw me closer to Him. It is a constant striving for consistency.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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