Subscription Lists

After numorous years of trying to be faithful I have realized that I can still, in practice, forget what faith is. I may be able to quote Hebrews 11 and define faith, but it does not mean that I actively practice it in my life on a daily basis. I can read my bible and pray and still be faithless in many of my actions. This past week I was reminded that faith is not a state of being, it is a vigorous act - a choice.

Hebrews 11:6 (NLT) So you see, it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

I must have faith to believe and live for Him who is working in my life and desires to reward me, as long as I continue seeking him. Yet when I read the word ‘faith’ I realized it did not resonate any more than if I had read the word ‘the’. I had become so used to the word I had stopped working for it.

So what exactly is faith to me today? Well, Hebrews 11:6 states that I must believe that God exists. I break out my mental checklist and swoosh a nice dark Check next to that concept. Hebrews 11:1 states that I must be sure of what I hope for, therefore I must have hope in something. Here I paused, no swoosh comes, no check only a dim realization sets in- Somewhere along the way, I have become afraid to hope for certain things and in so doing allowed faithlessness and Sinicism to seep in. Faith is also being certain of what I do not see. Oh man, my mental check list really stinks as I realize that what I can not see or invasion has resulted in massive anxiety in me.


I returned to my journal and began to make a simple list of the faith choices I have before me this week.

I must choose to believe that not only does God exist, but that He cares for me.

1Peter5:7 (NIV) Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Cast meaning to throw, hurl or fling, to direct, to part with, to shed or drop.

I must choose to believe that He is always present even if I cannot sense Him.

Deuteronomy 31:8 (Message) GOD is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you. Don't be intimidated. Don't worry.

I must choose to hope and to maintain a mind set of certainty. I must choose to fight self-reliance because when I am self reliant I do not trust or believe that God is truly present and that he wants to bless me. When I believe and live in a state of belief that He is with me and truly cares for me I am less likely to sabotage or reject His encouragement in my life.

Titus 1:2 (NIV) a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time.

Faith today, for me, is taking God at His word. It is hurling my anxiety on Him as if I was throwing a large hallowed statue of myself and letting it shatter under the intensity of His love. Faith takes work, hard labor. It takes constant training of my mind and it takes courage. It takes courage to hope. It takes courage to hope because hoping can be painful as sometimes hopes take a ridiculously long time to materialize into realities but it's worth the wait.

John Newton wrote, “If it were possible for me to alter any part of his plan, I could only spoil it.”

So I am mustering up the courage to hope in God’s plan again and holding tight in the absence of any sings that as long as I seek Him, in faith He will reward me. And I like to think that the reward will not come in form of instant gratification but in the form of peace of mind and contentment. So instead of droping my faith and drowning in my anxiety I am hurling my anxieties on God and hoping he will hurl back faith and courage. A small part of me also hopes He doesn't make me wait too long, but that's a lesson to learn and share another time.

"'Christ in You...'" from Dale Krebbs

Origin Of Nations