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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I had quite the emotional week last week. Who would have thought it? Me in love. Well, he's absolutely amazing and he has blown my mind! It's like he can read my thoughts. He has been after me for years and I kept him at a distance out of fear. But he listens to every word I say and never interrupts (I know that's hard to believe, I talk a lot). He writes me love letters (who would have thought I would have liked that?). Sometimes he points out the most disgusting parts of my character and even when I'm at my worst and most annoying he still accepts all of me (in those moments, I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole from embarrassment). He doesn't get board with me and doesn't lose interest (my biggest fear nullified). He continues to make time for me even in his busy schedule despite his work helping other people; he's in global human services. He makes me feel unique and special each time we hang out. We never run out of things to talk about and I feel so respected and honored in his eyes that it leaves me at a loss. He told me he loved me a long time ago but it took me a while to really believe it and I can't believe he stuck around this long.
So you want to know who he is, where he is from, and what his name is, right? And if you’re a single woman you want to know if he has a brother? Well I have good and bad news for you. The bad news is that he is one of a kind. The good news is that he feels this way towards each of you, even the men. Yep, I'm totally talking about God. Are you disappointed or relived? Did you think I was talking about a man? I don't blame you if you did. I would probably think the same thing. So, take a second right know and pause, evaluate what you thought and felt when you first saw the title of this column and read the first paragraph. Why did you choose to read this column instead of any other? Who popped into your mind and heart as I described this "man"? How long did it take you to get to even think it might be God?
1Cor13:6-8 "Love is patient....always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
God is patient with you, He always protects you, He always hopes for you, He perseveres with you in all your endeavors, and He will never fail you. Do you live your life as if you believe that?
As human beings we can be obsessed with relationships. One of the first questions people always ask me in conversation, whether they know me well or not, is relationship status related. No matter what our deepest fears may be and how much we protest, we still all desire intimate relationships because that is how God made us. But so often we can either desire them more then Him, letting them distract us from Him, or our fear of an intimate relationship reveals our lack of trust in God and His love for us.
When I get insecure, Satan starts playing on my thoughts, and I'm having an emotional roller coaster type of week, like I have had, I need to sit down and re-evaluate my first love. It helps me to write down all the things that helped me fall in love with God in the first place and put him back where he belongs in my mind and heart. It helps me to reminisce of how he courted me. In his eyes I am priceless. No man will ever love me like this, although I hope someday one will come along and have the courage to try. This love affair with God is true for each of us and I hope this can encourage you when you're beating yourself up, feel unloved, broken, numb, or simply inadequate on any given day, week, or month. You are loved by a powerful God- revel in it!
Psalm 19:1-4 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."
Romans 1:20"…what may be known about God is plain… because God has made it plain… For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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