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I got sick a few weeks back--I got hit hard. I was sicker than I can remember being in a long time. I was unable to breathe or focus. I felt attacked physically. My difficulty breathing made it hard to sleep. After a few days I was exhausted in ways I did not think were possible and I felt hopeless about things in my life that just a few days prior I had felt so hopeful and faithful about. During this time it was hard for me to focus long enough to really go before God in prayer or read his word.

Lam3:40 (NIV) Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD.

57 You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear." 58 O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life.

In sickness or in health God wants me to rely on him and yet I had found it so hard to rely on him in my times of sickness and it took me a few days to really fight through my delirium and haziness to pray. However, when I did pray, I decided to pray specifically about my job and about my situation. I prayed for a very specific miracle and as I prayed I felt the fear creep up in my heart. I was afraid of praying what I was praying for because I was afraid of being disappointed if the prayer was not answered.

Hebrews 13:6- 16 (NIV) 6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

It was a Tuesday or Wednesday early afternoon and I had prayed for a miracle before Monday. I had prayed about the bleakness I was feeling at my present job and I prayed for God to do something before Monday to help me feel less hopeless. I finished writing in my journal and went upstairs. As soon as I got up the stairs my phone rang and a young woman’s voice on the other line asked me how I was doing. I told her I was sick, although I think after speaking to me for a few moments I am sure she would have figured it out herself. She was calling to ask me to come in for an interview for a job I had applied for just days before! She asked if I could come in by Monday! I almost fell to the floor and for a split second thought that I may have been hallucinating under the influence of the antibiotics, but I was not. God was answering my prayer.

Heb13:8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Jesus did many miracles in his time on Earth, but they all required that those who sought the miracle believed. He has not changed. He is the same today when he listens to my prayer as he was back then.

Heb13:9 Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace, not by ceremonial foods, which are of no value to those who eat them.

I can allow myself to get caught up in the ceremony of prayer or I can believe in grace. Grace is what enables me to believe that despite my doubt and my irrational, and often faithless, behavior God is still willing to work with me. If I am able to muster up even a little bit of faith he uses it and works miracles in my life.

I am still not sure of God’s most immediate plan for my life, but I have been praying for more specific miracles because I have been reminded that he does do them and all he asks of me is to continue to do what I know is right.

The point of miracles is to bring glory to God and making God known brings Him glory. I may not get the job I interviewed for but I know that miracles can and will happen in my life if I continue to trust and have faith in them despite the circumstances that I can see and continue to sacrifice and praise God in the uncertain times- in sickness and in health.

Heb13:15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name. 16And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

"'Winging It" from Stan Smith

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