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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I am learning how to love people outside of my comfort zone. The more I have been learning and relearning about God’s love and character the more it has awakened a desire in me to have a deeper concern for others. However, the desire to have a deeper concern doesn’t always translate easily into action.
It’s easy for me to love the people I already love. That is, those who are already near and dear to my heart- I will do almost anything for them. If they are late (a huge pet peeve of mine) I don’t mind it as much, or if they lend out a book I lent them to someone else (which would usually infuriate me to no end), I can laugh it off and let it go.However, there are those who I am not as close to. Those who’s calls I sometimes ignore if I’m caught up in a book or TV show I really like; those who require so much more effort on my part to truly love, an effort I don’t want to make. Recently, I have taken an extra split second to check my heart when my phone rings and really ask myself why do you not want to pick up this call right now?
In his book, The Geography of Bliss, Eric Weiner writes,
“We humans need one another, so we cooperate- for purely selfish reasons at first. At some point, though, the needing fades and all that remains is the cooperation. We help other people because we can, or because it makes us feel good, not because we’re counting on some future payback. There is a word for this: love.”
It takes greater humility to genuinely love others. In fact, biblical love challenges me to do more for others because let’s face it, sometimes it really doesn’t feel good in the moment, but rather burdensome and annoying. This is the true test of righteous love, to do so when it is inconvenient and when I get nothing out of it.
Eph4:2 (TLB) Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Lowliness, gentleness, longsuffering - these are all attitudes of Jesus. They do not come naturally but I must cultivate them by the determination to place others above myself. This is how Jesus loves and calls me to love others. This includes those who don’t invoke my love naturally. It includes those who I am still called to love even if I don’t feel a return benefit. It also includes people who I care for deeply who won’t always listen to my advice or heed my warnings. I have to check my heart to insure that my concern is coming from a humble place and not a, “I think I know better than you” place.
Mtt7:1-2Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
It takes greater trust in God over trust in self or my experience to genuinely love others without judgment. People won’t always make the right decisions. Some will make decisions I just don’t agree with, regardless of whether right or wrong. Yet, it is not up to me to judge other’s decisions based on my wisdom. In fact, it’s pretty arrogant of me to think I know better. At the end of the day it’s not about me. Humility and grace allow me to look past myself to the needs of others.
1 Corinthians 1:26-30 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards […]; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise […] It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God – that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
The decisions we all make have benefits and consequences. One of the consequences of the decisions made by those around me is that they may get hurt or worse, hurt me! Whatever the case, I am learning to appreciate other’s Christlikness and to give grace to their humanness. I can see past myself and really seek to give to others when I am humble enough to accept whatever God’s role for me is in their life; when I accept God’s justice, His wisdom, and do not seek my own; when I have compassion and extend grace.
The lesson comes full circle when it comes back to humility; the humility it takes to be gracious. Extending grace can be really hard for me as by doing so it makes me feel vulnerable. It requires a deeper trust in God’s protection rather than my self-protection.
Romans 15:1,4We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. […] For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scripture we might have hope.
I must never forget that on any given day I can be the strong or the weak one described in the scripture above. A gracious person gives the mercy one needs rather than the justice one deserves. The more I seek and see God’s character the more gracious I am able to be.
Rom 15:13-14May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and complete to instruct one another.
Over the last few weeks, I have done more to obey God in this area by: making time for those who are not easy for me to love; being more vulnerable with those whose judgment or rejection I fear; pushing through my fatigue to give and listen when I didn’t think I had any energy left to do so. I have pushed past my pride and selfishness and ignored the excuses of no time, fear, insecurity and fatigue. The result was love. It did feel good, it felt right, and it did not weaken me. Instead, it strengthened my faith! It inspired me and taught me. It gave me the very joy and peace I was scared it would prevent me from having. It didn’t make sense by my standard but rather exposed God’s wisdom, “– that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption.” We are all completely capable and equipped to love, help and teach others, yet it is up to us daily to choose to do so.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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