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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

It's Not About Me
Date Posted: July 4, 2006

I heard a question that really got me the other day.  The question was, “Do you let God inspire you or are you trying to inspire yourself?”  This made me think.  I totally try to inspire myself on many occasions, which results in my state of inspiration not being consistent. In fact, I think that I have been so pre-occupied with trying to inspire others through God's word sometimes that I have resorted to allowing others' level of inspiration to influence whether or not I myself ‘feel’ inspired. I don't want to just feel inspired, I want to be inspired and stay inspired.

Inspired is defined as; to breathe life into, to affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence, to stimulate to action; motivate.

The cause of my inspiration a lot of the time comes from people. My inspiration needs to come from God and Jesus. Although I thought that this was indeed my source of inspiration, after a closer look I can see that this is not always the case. 

2Cor3 (the message) 16Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face to face! 17They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! 18All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.

In order for my life to become gradually brighter and more beautiful with God I have to consistently fight to seek his face.  Even when I am tired as a result of the work I may be doing to glorify him, I have to check if I am indeed looking all the way up to him or if my gaze stops at the eye level of another person. After all it is not me that ultimately does anything!

2Cor4 (the message)5Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. 6It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.7If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. 8As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, 9but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. 10What they did to Jesus, they do to us--trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us--he lives! 11Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. 12While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best!16So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. 17These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. 18There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

Losing this perspective can take so much glory away from God and I can completely disregard all the amazing ways he is trying to inspire me.  This past week I received a letter I had written to myself a year ago this time. (I highly recommend for each person to do this at least once in their life).  The letter was in the form of a prayer to God. As I read it, I saw that God had answered each specific prayer in detail! Yet in regards to one matter the answer was not what I had hoped for and I got stuck! Instead of being inspired by the numerous answered prayers I couldn’t get my heart past the anguish of the one answer I was unhappy with. In my mind I knew this was not right and that I was being ungrateful, but the week turned into a battle for my heart. Seeing where I was getting my inspiration from helped me so much.

It is only when I return to who Jesus is to me and cling to this Jesus that I regain my perspective. Only then can I be inspired by the things which I cannot see that await me. I can then also serve others and still be inspired by God despite their actions and/or reactions.

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"Voice of Inspiration" from Andy Castro

Psalms 91:11

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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