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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Sometimes things just don’t go according to my plan. When I think about it, many things have not gone according to my plan in the past, that has not always been a bad thing. Some of those change-of-plans have been blessings in disguise. I am in a position where nothing in my life seems to be going according to plan. In fact there are days when I can feel like I am being crushed. It’s like running on to a train in the nick of time sure that it is going towards your destination and finding a seat, only to find out 10 stops too late that you are not only on the wrong train, but you have endured, in hopes of your stop being next, being smushed by the person next to you who obviously forgot to shower! Ok, maybe that’s just me.
In circumstances when I am being crushed it is hard for me to allow my faith to keep me. Being smushed is an opportunity to refine my patience but I would much rather get off God's train and catch an empty express heading my way. I realized that patience is one area of my life I have not matured in, in a long time.
Matt.18:3-4 (The Message) 3 "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. 4Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom.
As I have gotten older I have become wiser in my own eyes. This sense of wisdom has puffed me up. I can think I have so much experience in the different aspects of my life. As I started my job, more than 6 months ago, I thought I was experienced for it. However, I am seeing that I have a lot to learn and in many cases the lesson is a call back to elementary tasks that I should have mastered by now but because of my pride and impatience I have not. I can complicate things when I should return to childlike simplicity. I am called back to simple basics but in my rush to get to whatever ‘next level’ I envision attaining I forget the elementary things.
James 3:1-2 (The Message) 1Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. 2And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.
Wisdom comes from God. Truth reveals itself if I take the time to seek it. Sometimes this requires just sitting back and letting things unfold, such as watching an old flame walk into and letting him walk out of your life, being able to recognize the difference between truth and sentimentality. Time and patience gives clarity and allows the initial daze of infatuation to fade enabling one to see reality again. Other times it requires my taking time to pay attention to detail and doing a task slowly and carefully, such as writing a professional email at work which doesn’t require hitting the “recall” button. Wisdom comes from a pure heart. In order to have a pure heart I have to not only recognize my sin but also actively pursue changing. I may be mature but that does not mean I have experience. Experience is developed over time and every new thing I learn makes me an amateur all over again. Sometimes I want to grasp some self-defined next best level in the world as well as in my relationship with God. In those times, all I really need to do is ask myself if I am living out the simple things. I need to remain aware of what God has given me and continually give back to others. When I keep things simple the truth is a lot easier to see; I am able to walk away from the things and people that are not beneficial to me; to see things and people for what and who they are instead of what I want them to be; and it enables me to walk patiently towards the truth.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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