Subscription Lists
Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I have gotten to a point in my walk with God where it’s not about whether or not I trust Him. I know I don’t trust him with a lot of things, it’s about finding out why I don’t?
It still surprises me when I catch myself ‘grabbing the wheel’ away from God. All of a sudden I’m this little person in the passenger’s seat reaching across and grabbing the wheel trying to drive. As common sense sets in, and I realize what I am doing, I still can’t seem to pry my grubby little fingers off the huge wheel ten times my size.
When I decided to leave my current job my boss began to act less than professional. I began to feel threatened and disempowered. As a result, I switched into “Old Kasia” mode so fast I didn’t even notice it. So many years walking with God and yet my knee jerk reaction is still to become self reliant instead of God reliant in these types of situations.
This past week I have been fighting hard to keep my hands off the wheel, trust God, and cling to ‘Why’ He is so much better to trust in than myself.
Psalm 56:3-4 (The Message) 3When I get really afraid I come to you in trust.4I'm proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God. What can mere mortals do?
Prov 28:26 (NIV) 26 He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.
Rom 15:13 (The Message) 13Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!
When I grab the wheel, I am anxious, fearful, and obnoxious! But when I release it back to God and believe in what I am worth to him, I am able to trust again and ever so graciously, He fills me to the brim with hope.
This week I’ve decided to recommit to clinging to God’s Word and read through Psalm 119 in order to stay in my right senses. His plans for me are infinitely better than my own (Jer29:11). My prayer is that some day my knee jerk reaction will be to trust and rely on God completely without even considering grabbing the wheel. Right now I would settle for just flinching a bit and sitting on my hands instead.
Rate it:
Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
Receive the newest devotional each week in your inbox by joining the "Quiet Time" subscription list. Enter your email address below, click "Go!" and we will send you a confirmation email. Follow the instructions in the email to confirm your addition to this list.