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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Love is Patient
Date Posted: January 8, 2019

You are meant for greatness. You have a God given purpose and are loved beyond measure by the creator of the Universe. When life’s circumstances get hard and painful I have trouble believing this. I question if those around me can still see it in my day-to-day life. This year was not an easy one, I made it more difficult than it should have been. 2018 left my faith hurting and doubting God’s love and purpose for me in many ways.

2019 is a year of returning to God’s love and purpose for me. As I have wrestled with aspects of my faith and His plan for me through the disappointments and unmet desires, I have also watched as God continued to work through me in a lot of ways to show Himself to others. I’ve hosted a small women’s bible study in my home weekly. I’ve shared Jesus and who He is and His love for each of the women in my living room week after week, yet I doubted it more and more for myself. I think God gave me those very women to help me see Him and my purpose when it was the hardest for me to see past my pain and disappointments. As the year drew to an end I read the story of Lazarus and two versus really struck me,

John 11:5-6 “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.”

As I read these words something deep inside me stirred and felt the heat rise to my face and tears well up and run hot down my face. It says he loved them but then he waits. He doesn’t come when they are feeling so desperate and so hurt. He waits. I know we all know how this story ends. Jesus ends up raising the dead. The miracle is so worth the wait and the pain but it could not happen without the waiting.

It can be so hard to trust God’s love and plan for me in the pain and waiting. I have to hold on to the truth that He does love me and He is working. I don’t know what my miracle will look like, what he will do in my life with my dreams and desires. I do know that the same Jesus that cried with Mary and Martha and loved them deeply also rose their brother from the dead. He did more than they could have ever have asked for or imagined but it took some pain and some waiting to get there. That is the God we serve, one of love and purpose. Yet, He is still God, therefore I will not alway understand His way. The God who loves Mary and Martha in this passage of scripture, the one who cries with them even though He knows what is ahead. He holds them and hurts with them and ultimately does something better. That is the God I want to remember and hold tight to each day of 2019.

God’s love language is obedience. That sounds so horrible to me, but when I actually live it out it’s so merciful and loving, His ways are always so much better than my own. I’m both terrified and excited for the journey and excited to bring you all along with me. I pray that your 2019 is also filled with choices that lead with His love and that we can see many more miracles in 2019.

John 14:12-13 “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in my will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even grater things than these…And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

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