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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
On any given day I can decide to look at the world and at myself from the vantage point of my past, how I grew up, how others view me. I can be negative and discontent about different aspects of my life. Today it could be my job, tomorrow a relationship. In contrast I can decide to view the world and myself in light of God’s love for me. When I chose to see and accept God’s love not just as a grandiose concept for all man kind but specifically, personally, and intimately for myself it enables me to see that the negativity and discontentment are signs of my pride. The humble person puts their confidence in God, not in their ability or talent. It is humility that unleashes the power of God. God woos me and loves me to a place where I can surrender my heart to Him. I can trust Him instead of trying to fill the longings of my heart with something else myself. He redefines my identity.
Deuteronomy 32:10-11In a desert land he found him in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.
One thing that struck me about the above passage of scripture is the depiction of God as a mother. The other was the visual of an eagle stirring up its young in the nest. We all know how baby birds are taught to fly: they are tossed out the nest! So often God is attempting to teach me how to fly and instead of spreading my wings in confidence I fall like a rock screaming my head off all the way down, afraid of going 'Splat!' on the ground below. I do this because I don’t trust that He will catch me. I do this when my point of reference for my present and future is my past before knowing Him. God’s actions towards Israel in Deuteronomy 32 were like a caring mother eagle. He not only protected them, He provides for them, got them moving, watched over them and guided them to the Promise Land. He does the same for me every day. I must choose to believe, accept and live by this daily.
Deuteronomy 32:16-17 They made him jealous with their foreign gods and angered him with their detestable idols. They sacrificed to demons, which are not God- gods they had not known, gods that recently appeared, gods your fathers did not fear.
God gets angry and jealous when I look to my past experiences and disappointments of love that are not His love. The creator of the Universe loves us so much that He gets jealous and angry for us! When references for my actions are the things of this world versus His love and truth - He gets angry that I give into false influences, by doing so I make them my gods. It’s interesting because as I looked at the deeper meaning of this passage of scripture I found out that in the Old Testament rarely are references made to demons; maybe three in total. This passage identifies the power behind these idols and gods as being from demons. Israel had received God’s revelation and His instructions and should have become upright but instead they grew lazy and rebellious. They failed to see His love and took it for granted. It was scary and sad to read this but even more so to see that I can so easily do the same thing.
Philippians 1:9 This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.
I’ve been learning that the more I expect to see God, the more I will. The more I experience Him, the more I trust Him. The more I trust him, the more I am willing to open up my hands in absolute obedience to Him and am able to receive His blessings. I can’t experience Him if I am busy trying to experience my own reality and vision. Ultimately, the key is trust. One f the things I have had to do to truly trust him is learn to deal with disappointments with out becoming bitter. Dealing with disappointment allows me to release my grip on all that I love and offer it back to God, who loves me more.
Titus 2:11-12 (The Message) God’s readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation’s available for everyone! We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God […] appears.
It can be a real struggle to pray, “ God, I know You are more powerful than this pull I am feeling. I know this thing I think I want so much will only provide temporary pleasure. I know the consequences of making this choice will rob my joy and peace in the near future. Through your power I am making the choice to walk away. I will find my delight in you and look forward to feeling Your fullness replace the emptiness this desire is creating.” It has been hard to pray and act on this prayer but I continue to do so because the more I learn about and choose to accept God’s love for me the more I see that I need not fear what my obedience will cause to happen in my life. I should only fear what my disobedience will cause me to miss.
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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